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  • Battle Beyond the Stars

    Battle Beyond the Stars

    ★★★★

    "With a good script, a good director can produce a masterpiece. With the same script, a mediocre director can produce a passable film. But with a bad script even a good director can’t possibly make a good film. For truly cinematic expression, the camera and the microphone must be able to cross both fire and water. The script must be something that has the power to do this."

    — Akira Kurosawa

    "One of the space samurai has to have like, really big boobies."

    — Jimmy T. Murakami

  • Rockula

    Rockula

    ★★★★

    (puts cap on backwards)

    My name is Rapula and I'm here to say
    I love stupid movies in a major way

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  • Mr. Vampire 3

    Mr. Vampire 3

    ★★★

    Kinda lacks the focus of something like Evil Dead to really let the good parts shine, or maybe there just weren't as many of those as I'd hoped, but still good ghost bustin' fun.

  • Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins

    Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins

    Admittedly not the worst thing I've ever seen, but I watched this in 3 forty-minute increments and by the time I started the last one I was like "What is this movie even about???". Paired with its racist very-obviously-a-white-guy-playing-an-asian, this movie? Can go fuck itself.

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  • Halloween III: Season of the Witch

    Halloween III: Season of the Witch

    ★★★★★

    Do you see what happens when an entitled fanbase boycots a movie because it didn't give them exactly what they wanted? DO YOU SEE?! An initiative that produced something that is so insanely gorgeous, so utterly submerged in foreboding gloom, so refreshingly unconcerned about losing you as a viewer... only to prematurely get its plug pulled, leaving us forever wondering about what could have been. And boy, don't even get me started about the soundtrack. You wanna know how I…

  • Sisters In Law

    Sisters In Law

    ★★

    Another perfect example of me going too far down the rabbit hole of Hong Kong cinema: "Bloodmoon & Superfights are all-timers, I wonder what else the director did -> Goes to hkmdb -> Huh what's this, an early 90's girls with guns flick with Sandra Ng? Gotta see this!"
    Let's just say this had to have been a cushy job for Leung Siu-hung because this is neither here (martial arts) nor there (gunplay). Another Shing Fui-on movie on the tally, I guess.