This unseen gem is amazing. I don't know how or why this vanished from cinematic history, but it's a real shame. It falls firmly into that sweet spot between legitimately solid action film and odd passion project. It's awkward in every way, and in all the right ways.
But let's start with star and writer Kely McClung as DEA agent John Lambert. McClung is exactly what you want in this role: a guy with quality martial arts skills and a…
My luck with tiny monster movies has been great lately!
Attack of the Beast Creatures is populated completely by people who only appeared in Attack of the Beast Creatures. Written, directed, edited and produced by people who only worked on Attack of the Beast Creatures. It appears to be a pure, uncut labor of love...and I love it for that.
The story's simple. Castaways from the shipwreck Obelisk wash ashore on an island that is infested with tiny little dolls…
Having depleted the supply of females in Paul Kersey's life, the role of narrative sacrifice falls upon his old friend Charley who, as Kersey arrives at his apartment in New Fake City, is killed by a gang of creeps. These creeps, being creeps, run roughshod over local law enforcement, except for Lt. Grandpa (Ed Lauder), who primes Kersey's pump and gives him free rein to exterminate all the creeps, but especially creep leader Fraker (Gavan O’Herlihy). Deborah Raffin appears as…
Jason McCree (David Naughton), an alternate, proto-Jeff Winger, mounts a return to college to get his journalism degree, renting a stationary train car as his domicile...as you do. Between classes taught by a very feisty Jeff Conaway, and making time with his scripted love interest (Judie Aronson), Jason discovers his new home, and more precisely his new sofa, is haunted by the spirit of The Mister, an old engineer who is never going to be the next stop in terror.…
Uh...well, there's a log. And a fire.
Plus a couple of other things.
This might be the most relentlessly hilarious 150 minutes I've ever experienced.
Twice.
