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  • Stickfighter

    Stickfighter

    ★★★★

    This unseen gem is amazing. I don't know how or why this vanished from cinematic history, but it's a real shame. It falls firmly into that sweet spot between legitimately solid action film and odd passion project. It's awkward in every way, and in all the right ways.

    But let's start with star and writer Kely McClung as DEA agent John Lambert. McClung is exactly what you want in this role: a guy with quality martial arts skills and a…

  • Attack of the Beast Creatures

    Attack of the Beast Creatures

    ★★★½

    My luck with tiny monster movies has been great lately!

    Attack of the Beast Creatures is populated completely by people who only appeared in Attack of the Beast Creatures. Written, directed, edited and produced by people who only worked on Attack of the Beast Creatures. It appears to be a pure, uncut labor of love...and I love it for that.

    The story's simple. Castaways from the shipwreck Obelisk wash ashore on an island that is infested with tiny little dolls…

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  • Nowhere to Run

    Nowhere to Run

    ★★

    This didn't start with the Martha and the Vandellas' song, so I was immediately disappointed. And things mostly went downhill from there...

    There's a couple of moments when Van Damme does some Van Dammage, but they're few and far between, and this director doesn't seem ideally equipped to shoot them. Most of the film is setting up Ted Levine and Joss Ackland as our mustache-twirling villains as Van Damme gets to know our imperiled family.

    There's a way to make…

  • The Tender Warrior

    The Tender Warrior

    ★½

    The Tender Warrior is the tale of a young southern boy named Sammy who wants to protect the creatures of the swamp, and gets help from Chuck, his cigar-smoking chimp. The pair of young do-gooders must dodge a family of bootleggers, a bear that's addicted to moonshine and a rogue panther looking for food.

    The Tender Warrior is the directorial debut of Stewart Raffill, as well as a vehicle for a bizarrely beardless Dan Haggerty. This is also clearly a…

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  • Nice Girls Don't Explode

    Nice Girls Don't Explode

    Sometimes, I can't connect with a film. And sometimes I don't really want to connect with a film.

    This is one of those times.

    I found it...difficult to mine what passes for comedy out of a story revolving around constant mental abuse, with charmless characters that barely behave like humans.

  • I Love Maria

    I Love Maria

    ★★★½

    Even after seeing the trailer, I deeply underestimated how goofy this was going to be. I didn't fully get on this movie's wavelength until the "I need to pack my stuff" moment, and then all became clear.

    Above all else, this is a silly buddy comedy that happens to be full of techno-gangsters, inept cops and robots of varying shapes and sizes. And that's 100% ok.