don't you think maybe they're the same thing? love, and attention?

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Recent reviews

  • Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater

    Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater


    countdown to christmas 2020, #5

    so they just call movies whatever they want now, huh? the start was terrible but it improved with a very dedicated leading lady and a somewhat tolerable love interest. but the military boot licking was more than I could stand. no fucking thanks, america

    me: 1.8
    dad: 2.0
    mom: 2.5

  • On the 12th Date of Christmas

    On the 12th Date of Christmas


    countdown to christmas #4, 2020

    genuinely fun, with very little believability. had a much more decent solution for the “two rival coworkers fighting for the same promotion” trope than other hallmark movies I’ve seen. there’s a moment where the main character manipulates the love interest by pretending she wants him to mansplain to her. not bad

    me: 3.0
    dad: 2.8
    mom: 3.8

Popular reviews

  • The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

    The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement


    a list of shonda rhimes's fuckin classic choices for the side characters in this filmé:

    - the fat louie & maurice chase scenes which appear at unexplained times
    - a gardener brushing AND flossing the teeth of a stone lion statue
    - the stable boys casual presentation of a rubber snake to the horse
    - a waiter unabashedly stealing petit fours
    - that white guy named JOHNNY BLU singing miracles happen in mandarin I CHOKE EVERY TIME
    - and, lastly but most importantly, the maid who jovially shoves handfuls of popcorn into her employers armchair. Iconic

  • Made of Honor

    Made of Honor


    remake this film with a female maid of honor who steals the bride and then we’ll talk