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  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    Rudolph's dad is legit out here flinging dirt on his kids nose so he won't be embarrassed that his son is different. Fit in, he says. Be like the others, he says. Get used to it, he says.

    Folks, Rudolph's dad is a fucking asshole.

  • Boy Erased

    Boy Erased

    ★½

    "Boy Erased, the new film from Joel Edgerton, isn’t interested in any of the nuance that Akhavan provided in her film. Edgerton’s film, instead, chooses to tackle the topic of conversion therapy with the grace of a semi-truck full of fine china toppling over the side of a mountain adorned with graffiti that reads “God Hates Fags”. Poor Jared Eamons (Lucas Hedges) cannot get the image of hunky, well-chisled, Zac Efron types out of his pubescent brain. Well-hung, attractive, brunette’s…

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  • A Quiet Place

    A Quiet Place

    ★★½

    Imagine the poor sap who died in this universe because he couldn't hold in a fart.

  • Lava

    Lava

    I bet Ringo Starr loves the shit out of this. He probably sat there watching the movie and nudging his friends in the side with the biggest grin on his face. "Ahhh, they LAVA each other", he says at the close of the short film.

    When he arrives home later that night he begins to compose a rock opera on the love of Volcanoes because he is so touched by the great act of love between these two mountains.

    Paul…