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  • Aachi and Ssipak

    Aachi and Ssipak

    ★★★★★

    The future is here.

    The planet's resources have been depleted and the human race is forced to power all their major cities and appliances using the magic of excrement. Having harnessed the unlimited power of crap the governments and corporations of the world have created an economy and class-system based on bowel movements. I would be rich beyond your wildest dreams. Successfully dropping a loaf (the inside of each human ass has been tagged with a 'ring' that counts the…

  • Invasion of Astro-Monster

    Invasion of Astro-Monster

    ★★★★

    Ishirō Honda is one of the most creative and underrated genre filmmakers of all time.

    Invasion of Astro-Monster aka Godzilla vs Monster Zero can be accused of a lot of things, but lacking ambition is not one of them. This movie's biggest problem is its storytelling choices. But that is also its most interesting element.

    Astro-Monster can be seen as three science fictions films in one. A film for every head of King Ghidorah!

    One film is this space-adventure buddy…

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  • Cats

    Cats

    ★★½

    Three things about me:
    1. I love weird stuff.
    2. I love cats.
    3. I love musicals.

    So I (and crazed senior citizens on Dimethyltryptamine) are the obvious target demographic for the new musical CATS.

    Watching this film I was reminded of when I fish in the video game Red Dead Redemption 2. When the protagonist of the game catches a particularly gigantic fish he just kinda chuckles and says "Haha! WOW!"

    That was me during this movie.

    "Haha! WOW!"…

  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    ★★★★★

    (To the tune of the 60s Spider-Man theme song)

    Spider-man, Spider-man,
    Not affiliated with Iron Man
    So this film, is the best
    since Sam Raimi left the rest.
    Look Out!
    A really good Spider-man.

    The animation?
    Pretty great,
    out of five, I'd say an eight.
    Is it just an origin tale?
    Yeah, but it's got freaking SPIDER-GWEN IN IT.

    So, I'd recommend,
    recommend this Spider-Man.

    On a routine stage
    It feels fresh and new
    It's got Nicolas Cage
    And it…