Favorite films

  • Tetsuo: The Iron Man
  • The Handmaiden
  • Branded to Kill
  • The Great Satan

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  • Hatchet

    ★★

  • Annabelle Comes Home

    ★★

  • In the Trap

    ★½

  • Mirror Mirror

    ★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Hatchet

    Hatchet

    being as faceblind as i am deprives me of at least half of the fun this movie has to offer because the cameos are all completely lost on me, which means i have only the gore and the writing to enjoy.

    the writing is trash.

    the gore is gross.

    given the swagger of the film's taglines, Hatchet feels like a pretty cringey disappointment to me.

  • Annabelle Comes Home

    Annabelle Comes Home

    yeah, i think this is one of the bland Conjuring-verse movies.

    i don't have much to say about it, i guess.

Popular reviews

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  • Body of Evidence

    Body of Evidence

    ★★★★

    i literally don’t know why people don’t like this movie. Madonna and Willem Dafoe are both smokin hot and he’s the bottom. 

    literally.

    what’s bad?

  • I Am Dragon

    I Am Dragon

    ★★★★

    i was worried about this one, but Miroslava immediately proves herself resourceful and driven. and then she’s just that for the rest of the film. there’s only so bad a fairy tail adaptation can be when it has the good sense to make its heroine clever and brave.

    Miroslava turns out to be a 32-year-old Russian woman in a teen body and she is my hero.

    furthermore, her asocial dragon boy is nigh constantly seminude and is extremely nice to…