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Chris has written 20 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Rolling Thunder

    Rolling Thunder

    My library DVD crapped out on me halfway through, shortly after the big robbery scene. Apparently Schrader claims that the changes made to his script turned this from a film commenting on fascism into full on fascist propaganda, and from what I’ve seen I would agree. There’s something very Trumpian about the wish fulfillment going on in the parts I saw. The major is a forgotten man, victimized by everyone around him and yet stronger than any of them, a…

  • Wiener-Dog

    Wiener-Dog

    I quit watching partway through the first vignette. Too much glee in being transgressive for me, I guess, and I’m not even talking about all the dogshit. The rapist Muslim dog thing came off to me as less satiric and more straightforward puerile racism, from the strain of white people humor that trades in racist stereotypes as a way of expressing anxiety about race. No thanks.

  • Yours Faithfully, Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)

    Yours Faithfully, Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)

    I stopped watching halfway through a five minute short. Too mundane for me, I guess.

  • The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

    The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

    I stopped 43 minutes in. I guess I've been spoiled by Mario Bava. The kill sequences were really weak; the Red Queen shows up, there's a medium shot of her unconvincingly stabbing someone, and that's it. The fairy tale thing with the sisters seemed promising, but in practice there was a lot of boring exposition about inheritances and affairs, and not much else.

  • Joysticks

    Joysticks

    I gave up 22 minutes in. Too much awful sex "comedy" of the kind that Joe Bob Briggs used to glory in, not enough footage of video games. The intro is a trip, though. Lots of screenshots of old arcade games, including some fun but lesser known games like Pooyan, while the camera leers at a model who's pretending to be really excited about playing, backed by an absolutely terrible theme tune that leans heavily on the phrase "totally awesome…

  • Zaat

    Zaat

    "Nets are no longer for fish. We may use them on you humans, if any survive."

    I tapped out after thirty-five minutes. The beginning is kind of hypnotic, with a long evil rant from the mad scientist with creepy sound effects playing in the background over a lot of nature footage cut together with a scene of the actor slowly plodding around in his low-rent evil lair, before he strips down to his boxer shorts over his jockey shorts and…

  • The Leopard Man

    The Leopard Man

    I gave up twenty-three minutes in. A couple of the fright moments in the opening leopard attack were pretty good, but all the genre movie trappings were turning me off. This was threatening to be a dull and talky B-movie outside of the Lewton terror of the unseen bits.

  • A Virgin Among the Living Dead

    A Virgin Among the Living Dead

    "I feel like I’m dreaming, dreaming a strange dream."

    I've tried to watch Jess Franco movies before, and bounced off them. This was no different, except at thirty minutes I lasted a lot longer than other attempts. I think what kept me going as long as I did was the dub, which charmed me as it was seemingly done by semi-professional stage actors who were trying their darnedest to do good line reads. But this is still a guy shooting whatever he wants, as long as there's female nudity and it costs no money, only what he wants to do doesn't seem that interesting to me.

  • Savage/Love

    Savage/Love

    “You said, ‘Look at me with your eyes. Look at me with your eyes.’”

    I dropped out after six minutes. Seems well-done for what is (neurotic confessional performance art), but I really can't relate that much. This seems very early period Jonathan Richman and I'm more of a late period Jonathan Richman person these days.

  • Wise Girl

    Wise Girl

    "You know the kind of thing that goes on on the Left Bank. You haven't enough experience!"
    "You forget I was a senior at Vassar."

    Only watched the first ten minutes before deciding I didn't want to continue. Something a little too low budget and rote about it, not helped by Miriam Hopkins playing one of those unreal Golden Age of Hollywood idle rich people with the means and time to get themselves into whatever interesting situation the plot requires.…

  • Dementia

    Dementia

    I only watched the first ten minutes of this before deciding that it was an experiment that I didn't want to continue with, even though it pleasantly reminds me of two things: first, munching popcorn and watching Fifties SF movies in old movie palaces, because the opening score is absurdly bombastic, and secondly, watching old Twilight Zone reruns, thanks to the focus on an alienated protagonist trying to navigate a threatening world (I'm pretty sure there are multiple episodes that…

  • The Phantom Carriage

    The Phantom Carriage

    Sorry to sin against cinema, but I gave up on this after forty-five minutes. Temperance propaganda on the level of Reefer Madness and special effects on the level of a Bert I. Gordon movie. Looking this up on Wikipedia, of course this ends the way I thought it was going to end. (And also Jonathan Richman performed a score for it once. I'm imagining a lot of that Spanish guitar stuff that he likes to do.)

    I did like the…