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  • Adaptation.

    Adaptation.

    ★★★★½

    Sitting in my oversized computer chair staring at the monitor. Cross legged. I've got a scarf wrapped tightly around my neck. My neck is sore - the natural warmth will keep the muscles loose. It's ridiculous, I know.

    Trying to figure out the correct way to start this review. What's the right voice? ... Should I go with Nicolas Cage in one of his last "great" performances? It can play because yesterday was the Academy Awards... Who'd he lose to…

  • Pee-wee's Big Adventure

    Pee-wee's Big Adventure

    ★★★★★

    There has never been a time that I didn't love this movie. I loved it when it came out. I loved it when all my friends mocked Paul Reubens for spanking it in the porn theater (what do you expect?). I love it today as an adult. It's without a doubt a perfect movie.

    Pee-Wee has an enthusiasm and joyous optimism for life that's infectious to those around him and his viewers. It brings you back to being a child.…

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  • Deadpool 2

    Deadpool 2

    ★★★★½

    Pretty much loved it. Funny, heartwarming and stupid amounts of action. Loved Russell and especially Domino - she owns my ass. 

    Loved it better than the first - I know blasphemy, right?

  • Zombieland

    Zombieland

    ★★★★½

    I’m not even sure Woody is acting in this... Just a normal Friday night for him?

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  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ½

    I went in with the best of intentions. I "liked" each of the previous Jurassic Park films. I did not expect anything groundbreaking - just some dinosaur fun. That's all I really wanted - just some fun... I hated Jurassic World.

    I'm saying all of this below as soberly and as calmly as I can - I really wanted to like this movie - I really wanted to give it a better rating - but as I think about it…

  • Pee-wee's Big Holiday

    Pee-wee's Big Holiday

    ★★★★½

    I'm so happy right now!

    You can't go back! Nostalgia is a trap!! Force Awakens was a fluke!! ... I know you are but what am I? ... AHHHH!!!

    I've been rooting for Paul Reubens for so long to get a chance at another movie!! I've read interviews where he said he had plans but they would always fall through... but he finally got it!! And he fucking nailed it!!!

    Pee-wee's commute to work! Pee-wee's still the breakfast king! All…