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  • The Haunting in Connecticut

    The Haunting in Connecticut

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    More like The Yawning in Connecticut.

    Despite decent decisions from the editing department and some legitimately disturbing imagery, this is a dull and empty film.

    The characters are thin and function more as archetypes than individuals. Our reasons to empathize with the protagonist are as follows:

    1. He has cancer.
    2. That's it.

    At least Kyle Gallner isn't hard to watch perform in his turn as Matt, The Cancer-Having Medium of the Northeast. The same unfortunately can't be said for…

  • Mars Attacks!

    Mars Attacks!

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This is some super zany fun. Perhaps Tim Burton's most enjoyable feature.

    The star-studded cast is put to good use, with Nicholson (x2), Brosnan, and Jim Brown shining the hardest. DeVito, Fox, Black, Applegate, Grier, and the rest do well too, but those first few pull most of the weight where the comedy is concerned.

    Make no mistake, this is a comedy first and foremost. It's drenched in campy, 50's cartoon sci-fi, but it's a comedy through and through.

    The…

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  • Quiz Show

    Quiz Show

    ★★★★★

    As I sit here, typing this, it appears that the next President of the United States will be Donald J. Trump.

    Why, you ask, is that relevant to this film?

    Because this film is about lies. At their core. The simple act of making someone think something that isn't true. They take different forms. In the film, the lies can be promises that aren't kept, they can be denial of wrongdoing, they can be assurances that what you're being asked…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    La La Land feels disingenuous to me. I'm not sure if it's an intentional and winking lie or a sell-out lie, or a lie borne of writer's block and resignation, but it seems a lie lies here.

    Beneath the sweeping and cascading camera movements, beneath the repetitive but welcome lighting cues, beneath the cutesy, consolidated colors and the attention-calling, nostalgia-dripped staginess of the sets, there's Chazelle talking a lot and not really saying anything.

    As with Whiplash, he opts for…