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  • Kick-Ass

    Kick-Ass

    ★★½

    Not nearly as enamored with this as I was originally.

    Partly because it doesn't hold up as much on re-watches or a near-decade later.

    Partly because the tone is all over the place.

    Partly because our protagonist is boring as hell.

    Aaron Tyler-Johnson does a pretty good job with what he has, but he has nothing. His character is Lame. His lines are Lame. His costume is Lame.

    Cage is more fun on-screen, but he's not on screen much. Ditto…

  • Next Friday

    Next Friday

    Straight trash.

    I've seen Friday and the third in this "series," Friday After Next, several times each. The first is a genuinely well-done film. Friday After Next is kinda stupid and definitely has some red flags, but it's funny enough for me to enjoy it anyway.

    This is just terrible. At times, it feels like it's pandering to an exclusively and stereotypically black audience. Other times, it feels like it's pandering to 10 year olds.

    Neither works at all. The…

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  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    That was the least interesting superhero movie I've ever seen.

    Not the worst, mind you. Maybe the second worst. But at least Catwoman runs under two hours and offers so-bad-it's-good entertainment.

    Infinity War is a bloated piece of empty, corporate garbage.

    This movie takes TWO AND A HALF HOURS to tell a story that could've been done in 80 minutes.

    The worst part is that roughly 75% of this is characters standing around talking to each other about what just…

  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I don't think this is necessarily an outright bad film, but what the fuck is the point here?

    Is the point that war is hell? If so, this is obvious to everyone already. Films like Saving Private Ryan or We Were Soldiers depict the visual atrocity and gut-wrenching fear, pain, and confusion of soldiers much more viscerally and accurately. This is a bleached, PG-13 affair that seems content to shy away from the blood, the burning corpses, and the horrifically…