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  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Spiderman is back! Again! No, like again-again! Because they started it all over even though we just got done starting it all over.

    OK seriously though, Spider-Man: Homecoming is pretty smart: it doesn't bite off more than it can chew, and it plays things safe. Maybe a little too safe, but it's good fun.

    Tom Holland is just fine as the titular webhead. There's no opportunity within this script for him to really impress or to fully enter the role…

  • Beneath the Planet of the Apes

    Beneath the Planet of the Apes

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Wow, what the fuck?

    The first half of this film is a (completely unnecessary and slightly condensed) literal rehash of the first film's finale followed by a boring and pointless retread (almost the exact same plot with a guy who looks very similar to Heston) of the first film's entirety.

    Then shit gets interesting.

    Did they probably go a little overboard here? Yeah, I'd say so. Don't get me wrong, I was entertained by the intersection of nuclear mutant fantasy…

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  • Quiz Show

    Quiz Show

    ★★★★★

    As I sit here, typing this, it appears that the next President of the United States will be Donald J. Trump.

    Why, you ask, is that relevant to this film?

    Because this film is about lies. At their core. The simple act of making someone think something that isn't true. They take different forms. In the film, the lies can be promises that aren't kept, they can be denial of wrongdoing, they can be assurances that what you're being asked…

  • Wonder Woman

    Wonder Woman

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Yo, this is mad overrated.

    It's great that we finally get a legit, big-budget superhero movie starring a woman as the titular protagonist, and this isn't terrible by any means, but this is not a great movie. Nor is it an outright good movie.

    Gal Gadot is good, as is Chris Pine. They do have really wonderful chemistry together, and although their back-and-forths are the same kind of stuff we usually get in these types of films, they work decently.…