• Battle: Los Angeles

    Battle: Los Angeles


    What a fucking weird experience, honestly. Look, I know that only giving a movie 1.5 stars LOOKS really bad, but I honestly didn't... hate... this movie...? Hear me out. It's not creative by ANY means, nor is it in any way original. But I've definitely seen worse, it's just that two stars felt like a lot for this.

    It's not like this is even THAT boring, either. Sure, it's petty generic and forgettable, but you're at least not gonna be…

  • Men



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I keep reading different reviews from other users on here, all saying this wasn't that great. While I don't think it's necessarily a masterpiece by any means, I do think this is a pretty solid horror film with a lot more to chew on than some would initially believe...

    I think that once you actually get into the film, (the first few minutes feel kind of like a really long Ford Fiesta ad) the whole film maintains this creepy and…

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Directed by Sam Raimi." Yeah, right...

    Goddamn it, they just keep getting worse. I was originally going to give this a 1.5, but then I thought there's no way this is only half a star better than "Morbius." What I decided that meant is: either I rated "Morbius" too high with its single star, or this too low with a 1.5. I ended up deciding to give this another half a star because it's definitely not worse than "Eternals."


  • Bringing Out the Dead

    Bringing Out the Dead


    This is definitely one of Scorsese's darkest films, and it's presented damn near perfectly with Paul Schrader's pessimistic script and a tired, exhausted, and zany performance from Nicolas Cage.

    What this whole film does best is make you feel just as tired and exhausted as Frank does. Everything in this movie glows at night, especially the whites of the ambulance and the paramedic uniforms. Story beats move at breakneck pace and make you feel disoriented and confused. There are times…

  • The 400 Blows

    The 400 Blows


    This is easily my favorite of Truffaut's work. Oh, to be young again...

    That's one thing this film does best. It perfectly captures the feeling of being young, for better and for worse. The film reminds you what you felt when you would goof around in class instead of paying attention. It reminds you how you felt when you thought the whole world was going to end just because you failed a test. It reminds you what you felt when…

  • The Northman

    The Northman


    Oh yeah, you KNOW I went to the gym and lifted the shit outta some weights after this.

    Robert Eggers has really been impressing me with what he's been able to come up with thus far. "The Witch" and "The Lighthouse" were both phenomenally unique and horrifying, and are two of the best horror films to have come out in the last few years. And once I saw the trailer for "The Northman," I already just knew it was going…

  • High and Low

    High and Low


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Akira Kurosawa is getting THIS close to becoming my all-time favorite filmmaker...

    "High and Low" has got to be one of the most narratively thrilling films I have ever seen. Sure, when it comes to the mystery/detective genre, you've got your movies like "Seven" and "Memories of Murder," but I feel like "High and Low" somehow reaches a peak that those two films, (which are still undeniably incredible on their own) don't even reach. The story is thrilling, the characters…

  • The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

    The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari


    HELL yeah. Easily one of the best silent films I've seen. And no, I didn't watch this just because I saw "Massive Talent" yesterday. This has been on my watchlist for a while now, and I was finally able to get around to watching it.

    So yeah, if you know anything at all about "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari," you probably know why it's supposedly so good. The twisted, crooked, painted sets that are present throughout the film give what…

  • The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

    The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I'm honestly kinda bummed out that I didn't like it more than I did. Like everyone else on the planet, I love Nicolas Cage. He's an absolute psycho. But he's also a great actor, and I mean that genuinely!

    The man has literally not stopped working since he started. Year after year he's pumping out multiple movies, good or bad. (Mostly bad, as of late...) The guy clearly has a love for his craft, and he's given some really great…

  • One-Eyed Jacks

    One-Eyed Jacks


    Not too bad for Brando's only directed film! While obviously not the greatest western ever made, "One-Eyed Jacks" still contains all of the tropes you'd want/expect from the genre. There's a lot to enjoy here with its gunfights, bank robberies, its sweeping shots of the American landscape, and its revenge-centered plot.

    While he's no Sergio Leone by any means, Brando still is able to show his many strengths as a filmmaker here. A lot of this film's story is told…

  • THX 1138

    THX 1138


    I feel like this ranks among the best of George Lucas' work. Here he does an impeccable job at building an unsettling dystopia that, through atmosphere and set/costume design alone, keeps you invested the whole way through.

    Granted, there are some scenes that feel like they go on for too long. (The scene in the big white void feels like 15 minutes longer than it actually is.) But overall, the film keeps you hooked. This isn't supposed to be some…

  • A Streetcar Named Desire

    A Streetcar Named Desire


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Did you ever hear of the Napoleonic Code? Well here in the state of Louisiana we got what's called the Napoleonic Code, according to which what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband, and vice versa.

    Marlon Brando taught me that.

    What really keeps this movie going, (aside from Brando being beautiful and perfect in every way, of course) is the DRAMA. I'm noticing that tons of movies made in the 40's and 50's all really relied on the…