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  • National Treasure

    National Treasure

    ★★★½

    No wonder we have people out here thinking 5G is mindcontrol when they can't even restart their own wifi routers. This is a kids movie where Nic Cage spitballs a full conspiracy theory (or is it conspiracy FACTS? MISINFORMATION?!?) involving the foundation of America in four minutes while sitting in a secret boat frozen in the arctic. Get them fighting the Deep State™ early, or wherever the Knights Templar link chart leads in 2020. The straightfowardness that this movie delivers…

  • Lost River

    Lost River

    ★★★★½

    "Anybody ever touch your rat?"

    Have you ever wanted to see what would happen if you put the artistry of Spring Breakers and whatever universe It Follows takes place in in a blender?

    Dollar Tree started selling deadstock DVDs and Blu-Rays last year and the hunt for gems was all the rage in a few circles on Facebook. That is how this movie wound up in my possession.

    Obviously this wasn't a box office hit, but the fact it was…

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  • Keyholes Are for Peeping

    Keyholes Are for Peeping

    ★½

    I don't think I could pick Jerry Lewis out of a crowd of one (my Letterboxd stats show a whopping 0% watched) but apparently the main dude in this made a career out of apeing his schtick. The slapstick comedy felt out of place in a Wishman flick. Wishman films need to be littered with schlubs struggling to get their lines out (or better yet, the backs of their heads) even though the dialogue will be added in post, not…

  • Poppies Are Also Flowers

    Poppies Are Also Flowers

    ★½

    Well this watch was a bit of a letdown. Doing some recon before throwing it in the VCR unearthed this is actually from 1966 and not sometime in the 80s like I was hoping and the cover I have lead me to believe. Also, The Opium Connection is a much cooler title than lame-ass Poppies Are Flowers Too. Despite the film starting already into the credits, at least the transfer on this Bingo Video Inc. (a seemingly miniscule label) release…

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  • Detainment

    Detainment

    Reason #397 Why You Should Not Have Kids: They might kill another kid. OR they might grow up to be a disrespectful filmmaker.

  • The Devil and Father Amorth

    The Devil and Father Amorth

    ★★½

    I had to run a screening of this for an event at work tonight. Friedkin was there and I got to spend a good amount of time with him which was definitely more enjoyable than watching the movie from the booth with audio coming through the monitor. In case anyone was wondering, William Friedkin doesn't "need no condiments" on his "hotdog sandwich."