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  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    ★★

    The fourth and most noteworthy installment in the "What If Pirates of the Caribbean But Bad" franchise

  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★½

    Not quite on par with my first experience, but this is still incredible and easily one of the best action movies ever made. I didn't think it was possible for me to love a film with dialogue like "I murder women and children with smallpox" this much but here we are

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  • Mute

    Mute

    Remember how Blade Runner 2049's runtime was three hours that only felt like two? This movie's runtime was two hours that felt like 2049.

  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★★

    This movie isn't real. It can't be. I keep waiting for it to pull off its goofy latex mask and reveal that Tom Cruise didn't really do those insane stunts and Henry Cavill's mustache was actually CGI the whole time