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  • Venom

    Venom

    ★★★

    Tbh I shouldn't even be logging this because I fell asleep halfway through and had no clue what was going on when I woke up during what I assume was the third act... but I didn't miss the "turd in the wind" line OR the makeout scene so will I be seeing it again for the parts I missed? Nope

  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    I lost the will to live approximately 154 times during this movie but never more than when actual fucking Buzz Aldrin showed up to congratulate one of Michael Bay's big dumb robots for being an American hero

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  • Punch-Drunk Love

    Punch-Drunk Love

    ★★★★

    As far as I'm concerned, any director who can make me not hate Adam Sandler practically invented cinema

  • Mute

    Mute

    Remember how Blade Runner 2049's runtime was three hours that only felt like two? This movie's runtime was two hours that felt like 2049.