Favorite films

  • Dune
  • Dune
  • Sky Sharks
  • Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

Recent activity

  • Invasion of the Empire of the Apes


  • Revolt of the Empire of the Apes


  • Dragon Wars


  • Bloodz vs. Wolvez


Pinned reviews

  • No More Dirty Deals

    No More Dirty Deals

    Basically just softcore porn with the sex edited out. This was only watchable with my generic bad movie drinking game, which I’ll describe thusly:

    Most bad movies have a few connecting strings that can apply across almost all genres. However, it is skewed towards the schlocky, as you’ll definitely get more drinks the closer you adhere towards the drinking criteria which are as follows—


    1. drink when anyone drinks booze onscreen
    2. Drink when anyone…

  • Won't You Be My Neighbor?

    Won't You Be My Neighbor?


    I’m writing another review about this because I’m still thinking about it and Because it’s so sad. Not the movie itself, but the fact that the lessons imparted by Mr. Rogers are still so needed, so vital, not just to children, but most adults as well. Everyone I’ve met in my life, every single person, in one way or another could’ve used someone as understanding and compassionate as Mr. Rogers in their life, even if it was only Mr. Rogers…

Recent reviews

  • Invasion of the Empire of the Apes

    Invasion of the Empire of the Apes


    The aliens are all called Davenoids and that’s hilarious but what’s even better is that they sound like little giggling chipmunks crossed with Salacious Crumb, and that actually made me uncontrollably for like a solid minute.

    Edit: I am now addicted to doing what I call the “Davenoid voice” which I am using to enunciate this as I’m typing it. 

  • Revolt of the Empire of the Apes

    Revolt of the Empire of the Apes

    This movie was entertaining but not enough to keep me from making up fake pop punk songs called Ape Baby, Planet Cracker, Badwigs And Squirtguns and Jeff Kirkendall’s Majestic Dual Performance.

Popular reviews

  • Love, Death & Robots: Beyond the Aquila Rift

    Love, Death & Robots: Beyond the Aquila Rift

    I’m probably in the minority for this opinion but honestly if your goal is photorealism in your animation style, and your setting and world shown is identical in complexity to things we’ve seen in live action sci-fi, WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER ANIMATING IT?! JUST SHOOT THE LIVE ACTION VERSION IF YOU’RE GONNA ANIMATE THE SAME DAMN GUNMETAL GREY SPACE MARINE HOLOGRAM SHIP NONSENSE WEVE SEEN IN THE LAST DECADE OF CRAPPY ALIEN MOVIES 

    ANYWAY, as for the story itself? I…

  • Equilibrium



    I think I’d like to die reading poetry and being shot in the face by Christian Bale.