Justice League

Justice League

DCEU Re-Evaluation Attempt Bonus Round!:

Oh hey it's like the Snyder Cut!!! Except almost everything that made it worthwhile was chopped out and replaced with shitty, derivative jokes and implausible deus ex machinas! Cyborg is barely even a character in this and Flash just comes off as rather unlikeable compared to the REAL version of the film. This is literally Highlander II: The Quickening all over again: a potentially-great film completely sodomized and drained of its soul by deep-pocketed scumbags completely out of touch with reality. What a shame, and what's more- what a waste! Everything added to this movie really didn't need to be added, they spent 100 million getting Joss Whedon to write-in like two dozen shitty jokes in a vain, hollow, shameless attempt to appease MCU fans instead of preserving Snyder's vision and maintaining the DCEU's distinct identity after he was hit with the worst kind of family tragedy you can imagine. The greedy execs threw integrity out the window and took advantage of everyone involved in the making of this and it's really fucking disgusting, but I digress.

Now you're watching Justice League... Now you're watching JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP 'STICE League! NOW YOU'RE WATCHING FUCKING SHIT. YOU'RE BETTER OFF FUCKIN' SHIT THAN FUCKIN' WITH THIS FUCKED-UP SHIT. FUCK THIS SHIT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUTTA' HOW FUCKIN' SHITTY THIS FUCKIN' SHIT IS. IT'S SO BAD IT SUCKS. IT'S SO FUCKIN' SUCK IT FUCKS!!!! And I... really don't want you to watch it. At the time, it was a travesty. In retrospect, it's an atrocity. The Snyder Cut makes this version utterly obsolete, and I sincerely recommend you avoid it.

The only saving grace keeping this from getting a half star is the admittedly-good soundtrack courtesy of Danny Elfman, including the classic Batman and Superman themes, which were sadly not kept in the Snyder Cut.

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