I could never respect a project that so cowardly kneels to dorky fan criticisms of the first movie, but this exceeded my already low expectations.
None of the formal pleasures of the original are here. Don't expect to find any expansive and varied sets, nor any tongue-and-cheek stereotypes that are endearing. Instead, Resident Evil Apocalypse fills its runtime with references and callbacks to the third game in the franchise, as well as bland early-2000s action scenes that are hideous to…
Going into this, I suspected that it was just going to be Heat for late-teens to young adults that love chugging Monster Energy. My expectations were appropriately met when the first scene is a direct copy of Heat's iconic opener. When I'm right, I'm right.
There's some real dirtbag energy that has a throughline here. Both sides of the law are awful here, and the movie says as much, but it spends way too much time dragging its feet and…
The tragically inevitable endpoint of the phrase: "Just turn your brain off." These movies gave up on being well-made and good a long ago, but this is actually offensive. Everyone involved realizes they don't need to make anything good or interesting, they only need to pander to their fans who will scarf down whatever visual oatmeal they pour onto cinema screens around the world.
I don't think I've ever seen a film comprised exclusively of rejected SNL skits before, so…
