Favorite films

  • Cockfighter
  • Instrument
  • Hail Mary
  • Christmas Holiday

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  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★

  • Soylent Green

    ★★★½

  • All the King's Men

    ★★★★

  • X

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    *45-year-old Evil Dead 2 die-hard obsessively licking the inside of a clearly empty dime bag of Raimi dust in front of his frightened 10-year-old* SAM'S BACK!!!

  • Soylent Green

    Soylent Green

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A desperate, horny detective mostly abandons his job in post-apocalyptic America to get laid, take showers, sleep, and eat lettuce and hobo stew with his elderly research assistant and one of the chief suspects in the murder case he's working, whom he is also boning. He is then, of course, stunned to find out this horrible world can only go on as is through systemic executions, cannibalism, and ongoing suppression and oppression by the state against the people. The good…

Popular reviews

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  • Cherry

    Cherry

    Imagine Martin Scorsese tells you that you are only good for making amusement park rides for Disney babies and you get spooked so bad that you try to make a *two and a half hour* dramatic adaptation of a bestseller that is markedly more shallow than the movies with the flag-shield man and his talking raccoon friends. Indefensible.

  • Polar

    Polar

    The inevitable edge-lord variation on John Wick. Men who DM porn stars at 3 AM and leave all-caps comments on female journalists tweets are about to have a new favorite movie.