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  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2


    First as tragedy, then as farce.

    Credit where it’s due; Tobe Hooper’s sequel is sure as hell not a lazy retread of the first Chainsaw. Dumb, yucky, and full of absolute nonsense, I’m convinced at least a third of this goofy shit was cocaine ad-libs on set. If there’s genius at work here, as fans say there is, it’s surely in how nothing is sacred to Hooper—very least of all his own prior work. Gremlins 2 eat your heart out. 

    All of…

  • The Dead Don't Die

    The Dead Don't Die


    Beloved and self-aware indie film director Jim Jarmusch opens his Actors Rolodex and assembles the Jarmusch Avengers for The Dead Don’t Die; a zombie movie that isn’t a zombie movie so much as it is a movie about beloved and self-aware indie film director Jim Jarmusch making a zombie movie. It knows it’s a bad movie, tells you at length that it knows it’s a bad movie, but doesn’t do anything interesting with the fact that it’s a bad movie. I’ve never sat in a theater so palpably tired of being winked at before.

Recent reviews

  • They Look Like People

    They Look Like People


    Frustrating for how close it gets to true indie greatness—the smart use of budget, the organic relationships, the story ups and downs, the few interesting surprises, the creeping dread, the dizzy ramp up to the final moments—all feel like they should be just a tiny bit... I dunno, better. When it gets under your skin in its best moments, it does work, sure. There’s just a certain contrived-feeling student-filmishness that They Look Like People can’t quite seem to crawl out from underneath. …

  • The Exorcist III

    The Exorcist III


    A classic of the Dourif-unhinged corpus and a well-regarded torchbearer of the themes of the original Exorcist, it more or less does what it sets out to do. Hurts badly however for its lack of coherent editing and for its muddled thesis, as well as for the unavoidable and unfavorable comparisons to the following year’s Silence of the Lambs. Good, but not great.

Popular reviews

  • Hannah Gadsby: Nanette

    Hannah Gadsby: Nanette


    I really wasn’t sure how to rate Nanette. Five stars seemed wrong. I have a philosophy about five-star movies, you know? I have a system. Five-star movies speak to me in a way that seems secret, that feel unique to me and my weird brain. They celebrate the medium. They transcend what you’re in the “mood” for. They’re timeless. 

    Nanette offered me none of the above and it still fucked me up. It gave and took with such mastery, put me on…

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant


    Another bullet in the back of a long-suffering franchise. You could take out about 40 minutes and have a good Alien fan film, but some problems are unfixable even at those lengths. 

    This execrable black goo fuckery is the "midichlorians" of the Alien universe.