What a slog. This thing literally took two attempts to get through without falling asleep. I’m usually all for an eighties King adaptation, but Jesus this thing is one of the most boring films of all time. It’s a horror flick with barely any horror or any of the Arrow Video charm, which is what got me to watch it in the first place. Not only that, but they’ve somehow managed to sell it on special edition 4K discs. Maybe it’s proven to be better than upmarket sleeping tablets in the insomnia market?
Remember when people said shit like: there’s never been anything in the history of film that’s like the MCU? I think we’re starting to be shown why that is. It’s because the MCU isn’t film anymore, it’s just a big hodgepodge of recklessly put together, feature length tv episodes full of clap clap cameos and very thin glimpses of creative freedom.
I could stand for a saga of films that were building to something. But these phase 4 movies are…
Netflix: “Why are we losing subscribers every single day at such an alarming rate? It’s baffling!
Also Netflix: “Guys, we should totally cancel people’s favourite shows and feature documentaries that cheapen incredibly shocking stories with shitty production values and viral marketing.”
Between this and The Tinder Swindler, I think we can all agree that Netflix’s original documentary content is absolute sensationalist shite that happens to always look like a Lifetime movie. But them opening this documentary, about a fertility doctor…