Night of Something Strange ★★

NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE (Jonathan Straiton, 2016)
Hurricane Bridge Entertainment Blu-Ray

Morgue janitor Cornelius puts in a little overtime with a fresh cadaver one night on the late shift, but probably should've paid a little more attention to the toe tag -- her unidentified VD has some pretty peculiar symptoms, turning our naughty necro-perv into an undead rape-happy humanoid looking to spread his disease any which way he can. Meanwhile, an especially obnoxious group of Seniors are making their way from the hills of rural VA to the coast for Beach Week. Stopping off at the Redwood Budget Motel for a nightcap, both parties converge for the titular pow wow and cover every visible surface with an assortment of precious bodily fluids. And some solids.

Condom flinging. Tampon flinging. Projectile sharting: direct hit. Face-melting money shot. Boner, with bite. Accidental buggery; brokeback mountin'? Toxic queef. Way too much masturbating. I have no issues with a film dwelling in scatological excess, but NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE populates the screen with one of the most annoying rosters of characters you're likely to encounter. In its assumed attempts to be shocking and outrageous, it forgets the necessary wit to pull off such an endeavor, and instead presents an endless array of dialogue so juvenile and sophomoric that even Rob Zombie would shake his head. You're literally an hour into the movie before a conversation happens that doesn't make you want to stab out your eardrums. That said, if you do actually manage to stick with it, the film somehow manages to find its footing a bit in the final section, with a handful of energetic set-pieces and a few inspired bits of lunacy -- mainly involving unexpectedly wild genital mutations. It's probably too little, too late, but at least it's not a total bust. "Kick her in the vag!" 4/10

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