Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ★★★

TFW you’re watching a zombie flick and the most annoying character by far is also clearly the least likely to die. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Kate. Ugh. If you cut out every single scene with Bautista’s onscreen daughter, this movie might go up a full star - she’s awful and her plotline is awful.

That said, this is mostly good, silly fun, albeit overlong and dumb as a box of rocks (absolutely nothing in this movie makes any sense, on a macro or micro level). Army is heavily, heavily indebted to Ocean’s Eleven, Aliens, and Return of the Living Dead, which are all strong films to lift from. Bautista, Notaro, Hardwick, Dillahunt, and Arnezeder are all fun to watch and I’m always down for some kung fu zombies and Vegas hijinks. And I can’t offhand think of another zombie heist film other than the recent Peninsula - I like this new sub-subgenre, zom-rom-coms are getting old. I’m on record as not being a Snyder fan, but this is probably the most watchable of his films since his Dawn remake, so far still the only one I really like. 

One thing that bugs me though. Why would purportedly intelligent, well equipped people experienced at fighting zombies go into battle with bare arms? If I was in a zombie apocalypse, the first thing I would do is get myself a pair of thick leather pants and a thick leather jacket and a motorcycle helmet, because human teeth, especially rotten zombie teeth, ain’t biting through that shit, at least not quickly. Leather armor +5, baby, saving throw against the undead.

Added to my massive Zombie Movies, Ranked list here at a respectable 41/94.

Added to Zack Snyder films ranked list here.

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