I am a human(oid), and cinema is my lifeblood. 👽

I careen wildly between high art and sleazoid trash.

I love (and am psychologically required) to make lists.…

Favorite films

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Recent reviews

  • Hospital Massacre

    Hospital Massacre


    A *super* weird slasher from Cannon Films!

    It’s like a movie written by an extraterrestrial being that had only been told briefly about slasher movies and hospitals, or maybe a computer that had "American horror movie, hospital, weird stuff" entered into it for reference.

    No one does a single believable thing. It’s really astonishing.

    It’s undeniably terrible, and definitely makes no sense at all, but it’s also competently photographed, the acting is...interesting (Playmate Barbi Benton is actually pretty convincing, despite…

  • Mania



    "Safe? My foot." *sips digestif*

    This is a made-for-TV horror anthology from Canada. It’s more weird tongue-in-cheek thriller than horror.

    There’s a hooker, a stabbing, and a man who screams "I won’t tell anyone what I saw!" to a vicious killer from his 2nd floor apartment balcony.

    There’s an obnoxious jerk, and a beautiful Rottweiler giving him attitude that he deserves. Poisoner’s remorse, a yellow Mercedes sedan, snow crunching underfoot, and a couple fingers...

    One of the shorts is by Paul…

Popular reviews

  • Luce



    This was an intelligently written and beautifully performed drama of complicated human behavior. I was thoroughly absorbed, and by the end felt rewarded by the filmmakers’ refusal to compromise their vision.

    Luce is an unexpectedly emotional and thrilling stage-to-screen drama with some A-list talent that allows for its characters to be conflicted and complex human beings. I'm extremely surprised this didn't get more attention, especially considering its social and political relevance. But then, it doesn't fall in line with and hammer…

  • Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

    Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead


    Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead is a nasty, nauseatingly hilarious, gleefully idiotic, sometimes boring, often offensive, occasionally thrilling, frequently ghastly, and - in the end - wonderfully hideous Troma experience.

    It’s also a terrible musical! And who the hell doesn’t love a terrible musical?!

    I enjoyed this for the most part, the experience one that seems to induce a sort of schizophrenic reaction as it bounces around from mostly-impressive blood & gore sight gags to boobs, mostly unfunny/offensive racial jokes (and…