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  • Loqueesha

    Loqueesha

    ½

    Easily 2019's worst and likely most offensive movie. Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen? Here are my screening notes:

    Ableist jokes count. iii
    Transphobic jokes count iiii
    General sex (virgin/slut) shaming ii
    Full OOF jokes iii
    (“Dad, that smartphone is just making you stupid.” -protag’s son, scolding his dad for checking for a work email, clearly a line written by a man who spends time around youths)
    (“Why you white folks always afraid to speak yo minds, you the…

  • Cecil B. Demented

    Cecil B. Demented

    ★★★★

    If Kubrick, Kurosawa, and Welles are the ideals that filmmakers should strive toward, John Waters, and this film, are the greatest frenzied fever dreams of filmmakers I've ever seen. A beautiful example of counterculture trash, in the best way.

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  • The Blob

    The Blob

    ★★★½

    These are the 40-something-est teens I've seen this side of Grease.

  • The Predator

    The Predator

    ★½

    Just like Doctor Frankenstein himself, Shane Black is a wickedly clever creative who has made the decision to make something out of defective decaying elements of better movies and concepts. From a doofy version of the Predator dogs, to the obnoxiously self=aware (read: pedantic) "not a Predator" bits and cool sci-fi tech without any actual creative energy to explain the science. Occasionally his sharp dialogue writing shines through, but unlike his stronger work, there aren't any characters the audience can…

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  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    Hellboy, more like Hellbad.

    Remarkably awful, you could feel the studio executive interference on this one... The movie plays off like an awful clip show episode of a Hellboy TV series, showing stories from across Hellboy's comics, while confusingly starting with the final arc of his comic life? Add that to the fact this film suffers from what I call "prequel-trilogy-itis" where a thousand cool things are just talked about having already happened instead of shown, in lieu of actual…