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  • Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics

    Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics

    ★½

    Nothing makes you want to do drugs less than hearing Sting talk about how cool he is for doing them.

  • Bad Boys

    Bad Boys

    ★★★½

    Remember that scene in Breaking Bad where Tuco samples some crystal meth and goes "TIGHT, TIGHT, TIGHT"??

    That's me while watching this movie and also doing meth.

  • Tomorrow Never Dies

    Tomorrow Never Dies

    ★★★

    Name's Herpes....Genital Herpes.

  • Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    ★★½

    This movie comes out twice a year. Different stories every time but it's still the same movie. Netflix tried to remake The Staircase about a dozen times from 2015-2019, now I guess they're trying to remake Tabloid and just got lucky that everyone is at home against their will for this version.

  • Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

    Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

    ★★★

    These two movies gave me life, a concussion, an erection, and 20 to life in that order.

  • Memories of Murder

    Memories of Murder

    ★★★★½

    In 2020 Memories of Murder is starting to suffer from Matrix Syndrome®, or when an unmistakably innovative film becomes stale due to the sheer volume of imitators.

  • Scarface

    Scarface

    ★★★½

    There's a very real possibility that the 80's were invented for this movie, like linear time was going to go 78...79...90...but De Palma said "no, but first."

  • Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

    Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

    ★★½

    The most interesting story in American sports since O.J. Simpson, told in just about the most uninteresting way.

  • Cosmos: A Personal Voyage

    Cosmos: A Personal Voyage

    ★★★★★

    I went into this expecting the internet's collective nostalgia to have colored Cosmos as a classic when it is in fact unworthy of that status. I was dead wrong, this series is one of the highlights of the TV medium. Educational in ways unmatched by other science television programs, extremely understandable without being simplistic, and most importantly personal. Spending time with Carl Sagan, it becomes clear, no other science and history presenter has come close to matching his wonderful demeanor.

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel

    ★★★★★

    The most self-assured film of the decade.

    The prettiest film of the decade.

    The most evocative film of the decade.

    My favorite film of the decade, and dare I say the best film of the decade. Every moment is sublime and rewarding in each and every detail.

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★

    What if a full length feature film was made about Morrie (call 212-555-HAIR) from Goodfellas?

  • Cloud Atlas

    Cloud Atlas

    ★★½

    brb, gonna make a starterpack of messy films that have a simplistic message of "Love is everything!