CitizenHAL

Luke warm takes on films
Average Dark Crystal enjoyer
Favorites aren’t top 4, just movies I’m into at the moment

Favorite films

Recent activity

All

Recent reviews

More
  • Showgirls

    Showgirls

    ★★½

    One of the most boring movies about Las Vegas ever. Sure it had its fair share of flashy dance numbers and boobies and hilariously bad dialogue. But the main character is so unlikable (and can’t act for shit) and the story feels like it doesn’t go anywhere. It reminded me of Martin Scorsese’s Casino, another 1995 film that takes place in Las Vegas. Except that was good, also that movie is three hours long and this felt even longer than…

  • Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    Spiral: From the Book of Saw

    ★★

    14 year olds with ACAB and BLM in their twitter profiles are going to love this because they think it’s clever. The rest of us are scratching our heads wondering why they didn’t just bring back Tobin Bell to do the voice. Like yeah John Kramer is canonically dead but Hoffman was able to modulate his voice to sound like Kramer’s. It wouldn’t have made a lick of sense but it would’ve connected to the rest of the franchise. But…

Popular reviews

More
  • Robots

    Robots

    ★★★

    My sister throughout the movie: “Who wrote these lines?”
    Me, holding back tears: “A MAN AHEAD OF HIS TIME!!!”

  • Cinema Paradiso

    Cinema Paradiso

    ★★★★½

    An utter delight of a film that reminds us the beauty, and importance, of cinema. It’s not just the movies up on the screen, it’s the experience of seeing that film up on the big screen. If this pandemic has taught me one thing (I mean it’s taught me a hell of a lot but for the sake of this review I mean), it’s to never take advantage of theaters. I don’t care if I’m watching The Lighthouse or some Marvel capeshit, I love going to the movies. Glad I finally watched this masterpiece.