ClarksDad has written 19 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • The Keep

    The Keep

    ★★

    The most 1983 thing ever. The cheesy score calls to mind a VHS tape from the $2 used movie bin at Blockbuster. Mild saving grace to this incomprehensible thing about nazis and monsters: its distinct look and feel...no one ever forgets watching it.

  • Looking: The Movie

    Looking: The Movie

    ★★

    The series was a self-conscious bore...the movie continues the legacy. Generic characters, stock situations, no real humor or soul, and god forbid anything offend. We gays make turgid movies about ourselves...but ace movies about heterosexuals or closet cases.

  • Weekend

    Weekend

    ★★

    Why is this so bad. Oh...same guy who did “Looking”...the other movie that’s like watching paint dry.

  • Cape Fear

    Cape Fear

    ★★

    Jessica Lange and Juliette Lewis are heartbreakingly good in this.

    The film itself can be summed up by the movie poster: overworked.

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    ★★

    Kudos for the clinical, nihilistic harshness of it all. I admit I was disturbed when I first saw it...as promised. The sequels revealed the director to be something of a hack, and all of this basically was a sick joke.

    In any case...his little poop movie is now famous and notorious and part our pop lexicon, like it or not.

  • Burlesque

    Burlesque

    ★★

    I can't with Christina Aguilera's torture-every-single-note-until-it-submits singing style....so this probably was dead on arrival for me.

  • The Great Gatsby

    The Great Gatsby

    ★★

    Swing...and a definite miss. The casting is inspired but the rest ....

    Postwar 1949 should have been an ideal time to adapt this novel... but it’s like they did a screen version of a hit broadway show but cut out the music.

  • The Great Gatsby

    The Great Gatsby

    ★★

    Luhrmann is the dinner guest that just doesn’t know when to shut up. Source material like this doesn’t need all this goddamn FUSS. (It was even in 3D!). There is skill in pairing things down and letting them .............breathe.

    Stick to the Redford / Farrow version.

  • Cleopatra

    Cleopatra

    ★★

    The legendary behind the scenes story is 9000 times more fascinating than the actual movie.

  • Moulin Rouge!

    Moulin Rouge!

    ★★

    10 mins in...the unhinged performances already outstaying their welcome ...I knew we were in deep trouble and no one had steered Baz from his worst indulgences.

    Another migraine-inducing, attractive bore.

  • Xanadu

    Xanadu

    ★★

    I was in grade school when this came out. Every girl in school wanted to be Olivia Newton-John in this. So did us gay boys.

    It's a dumb remake of a really dumb Rita Hayworth movie, and the choreography is a partial-birth abortion...but the music is cool, and that windswept hair original poster is ICONIC and I want it.

  • Lady in the Dark

    Lady in the Dark

    ★★

    Not a popular sentiment, but I think post "Major and The Minor" (1942)... Ginger Rogers became almost unwatchable.

    By the mid-40s she was turning into this arch, mannered Grand Dame actress...

    In any case...this movie...long unavailable because of rights issues...is a baroque, heavy-handed mess. For Technicolor aficionados only.