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  • The Monster Squad

    The Monster Squad

    ★½

    i think the best way to review this.....disappointing venture is to rank the monsters !! so here we go:

    5. dracula
    delusional, power-hungry, attention whore who may punch cops (!!) but also takes advantage of the less intelligent monsters and individually terrorizes the only non-annoying child in this film just because he wants a stupid amulet. an amulet that ACTUALLY belongs to the mummy, not his scary ass. his actual “monster” form (a fucking bat) is non-intimidating and he uses…

  • The Watermelon Woman

    The Watermelon Woman

    ★★★★★

    can’t recall another film quite like this one: a mystery/fake documentary/coming-of-age story directed by, written by, and starring a black lesbian filmmaker...in the NINETIES. cheryl would have been making a huge statement by making any film at all, but she went a step further and literally made history: inspired by the influential black actresses of the thirties, she manufactured an incredibly believable backstory for the fictional “watermelon woman” and fully brought her to life through a plethora of old photos and home…

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  • You Were Never Really Here

    You Were Never Really Here

    ★★½

    2018 Ranked

    Yes, I liked Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again more than this, and no, you may not revoke my cinephile card.

  • First Reformed

    First Reformed

    ★★★★½

    pastor jeffers: maybe if you had a fucking business that you were passionate about then you would know what it takes to run a fucking business, but you don’t, so don’t even act like you know what I’m talking about