• Promising Young Woman

    Promising Young Woman


    i love revenge films.
    i hate rapists.
    i think carey mulligan is hot.
    i am also presumably the target demographic for this film: i mean, the title basically describes me (i know it's an ironic play on the "promising young man" rape excuse, but what i mean is that, in the literal sense, i am young, a woman, and very driven in my aspirations).

    when you add all those factors up, i really should have liked this. but, uh, well...…

  • Cat Trotting, Changing to a Gallop

    Cat Trotting, Changing to a Gallop

    whenever i am sad i think about how from the very birth of cinema cat films were made! to this day, feline-centered films are churned out at a cosmic rate! there is truly an inexhaustible amount of video footage of cats being adorable to be found! i literally could watch one cat picture an hour every day for the rest of my life and probably would never run out! this is the happiest fact i know!

  • Leisurely Pedestrians, Open Topped Buses and Hansom Cabs with Trotting Horses

    Leisurely Pedestrians, Open Topped Buses and Hansom Cabs with Trotting Horses

    they're milling about a little too fucking smartly for me.

  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    space monke rip face :/ big meanie action of him :p wawa ;-; i have daddy issues :(

  • Crystal Lake

    Crystal Lake

    I didn't like the implication that grief is something to be suppressed. Plus the acting was really stiff and bad. :/

    Contents of the film aside, the Arabic in the title is laughably incorrect.

    To put it in terms non-Arabic speakers can understand: It's like if you, for instance, could only write in Arabic script but wanted to pretend you could write in Latin script and made English-looking shapes but really just wrote indecipherable squiggly gibberish.

    ...يا ربي

  • Jumanji: The Next Level

    Jumanji: The Next Level

    I do not speak French (to be fair I understand a good bit because I speak Spanish [cognates] and Darija [colonialism], but I am in no way fluent). This is all to say that I watched this entire thing in French with some friends (we were giddy and bored and theaters in Rabat are often lacking in good film selection) and somehow?? I understood the entire plot without a gripe. And THAT should tell you something. This is an ugly,…

  • Lahore Se Aagey

    Lahore Se Aagey

    CW: Rape

    My dear Pakistani friend has been *begging* me to watch this for at least a month now. I hate to disappoint her, but this movie was terrible and definitely not worth two precious, irretrievable hours of my life.

    DISCLAIMER: First off, I would like to clarify that I am not the intended audience for this movie. I am not Pakistani, and I do not speak Urdu, apart from a few basic Hindustani phrases. (Ap ka nam kya hai?…

  • The Kiss

    The Kiss

    Oh my god, get a room

  • Dirt! The Movie

    Dirt! The Movie

    Ok but at one point there was a man who was eating dirt and rating it texturally and shit like some sort of sommelier and I was honestly a bit concerned.

  • Do You Believe?

    Do You Believe?

    Someone please get Samwise Gamgee safely back to Middle Earth. It looks like he's fallen into some sort of space-time continuum that transports you to a frightening parallel universe wherein you are forced to act in horrendous evangelical propaganda films lest have the hair on your feet knuckles waxed off. Poor little fella.

  • Punch-Drunk Love

    Punch-Drunk Love


    This movie makes me physically feel things. It's not a psychological thriller, but it could be? I would describe it as other & astral & panic-inducing & wincingly beautiful.

  • Notting Hill

    Notting Hill

    I'm a sucker for romcoms, & I can usually stomach the dumber ones, mostly because I stick to watching these things when on my menses. I especially like to heat up instant ramen in the cold months & watch ten or so of them in one sitting, while the sodium-rich microwaved regret drips like larvae down my protruding chin & the hormones hold elaborate soirées in my uterus. But I have found this one to be too hackneyed, too saccharine, too dull & too affected, even when I'm emotionally impaired, sloshed on Maruchan & otherwise incapable of sound judgement.