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  • A Lonely Place to Die

    A Lonely Place to Die

    So, this was real shitty. It would've been great if they had just stuck to aerial shots of rural Scotland the whole film but they screwed it up when the "actors" started talking. If you have to see it, grab the subtitles ferfooksaykes.

    This movie should have been titled "Shitty Climbers that Suck at Climbing Getting Shot at by Dumb Criminals that Can't Aim for Shit"

    In the end, it's just a lame, boring euro-gangster movie masquerading as Cliffhanger, but without the brilliant acting depth of Sylvester Stallone.

  • Top Secret!

    Top Secret!

    ★★★★★

    The best Val Kilmer movie of all time. Oh, what's that? You've never heard of it? I guess you're not that cool after all.

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  • GoodFellas

    GoodFellas

    ★★★★½

    Someone once told me they thought Casino was better. Well, they were wrong. And stupid.

  • Battlefield Earth

    Battlefield Earth

    ½

    The absolute worst film these eyes have ever seen. It is unintentionally hilarious (though that's not enough to warrant a watch) and Forrest Whitaker is visibly embarrassed to be in the movie.

    This was John Travolta's "Con Air" to "Pulp Fictions" "Raising Arizona".