Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ★★½

Still unbelievably bloated and arbitrary and the shtick is getting awfully tired but without being chained to the miserable hackwork of Rob Marshall this manages not-infrequent doses approaching Verbinski's wit and visual density. I'd love to see one of these clock 90 minutes and ditch Johnny Depp, but given that they seem to be shooting for a FAST & FURIOUS full reunion in an inevitable future entry that seems unlikely. I mean they might as well have ended this with Sparrow saying "It's all about family."