Shakespeare in Love ★★

Completely obnoxious, patient zero for that dreadful Miramax strain of senior citizen arthouse programming. The endless, almost literally constant Shakespeare easter eggs. The absurdity of every single character being transfixed by the majesty of treading the boards. Gwyneth Paltrow's mustache. Judi Dench should have ordered the little narc kid's execution at the end. Barf.

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