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matt has written 14 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

    Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

    ½

    Turns out he did it.

  • Chained Girls

    Chained Girls

    ½

    One of your more insipid pre-mondo "documentary" exposes, pretty much pure homophobia. I don't deny chuckling at some of this patently absurd, wildly dated bullshit, but like they say, careless talk costs lives.

  • Slender Man

    Slender Man

    ½

    Shit Follows

  • Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

    Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

    ½

    Has a Tommy Wiseau cameo. This can fuck right off.

  • Get Hard

    Get Hard

    ½

    Maybe they should do a sequel about a black kid who gets falsely arrested, then spends years in prison suffering all manner of abuse while awaiting trial because he can't make bail, then when he does finally get out, he's so annihilated he can't function any longer and then commits suicide. Fuck this.

  • All Cheerleaders Die

    All Cheerleaders Die

    ½

    a perfect example of the narrow range of woman so-called "feminist" genre film considers valuable and empowered. a huge step back for McKee.

  • Doom

    Doom

    ½

    just barely.

  • Machete Kills

    Machete Kills

    ½

    hunger and enthusiasm, once all he had, has become anathema to Rodriguez's aesthetic. he used to make them cheap because he had to, now it's just because he can do it in his bathrobe. he's a pathetic joke and this isn't even a movie.

  • R.I.P.D.

    R.I.P.D.

    ½

    90-some-odd minutes you'll be begging for on your deathbed.

  • The East

    The East

    ½

    reductive, appropriately smug thriller about an inexperienced idiot tasked by a private security firm with an undercover operation to expose the world's most boldly incompetent ecoterrorists. despite a law-enforcement background she frequently violates the law (not maliciously but unthinkingly, jeopardizing the mission), and her naiveté and inability to reconcile her emotions with her job collide with their essentially suicidal audacity and sheer ineptitude to create literally fatal moral calamities that could have been avoided either by A) anybody knowing what the fuck they're doing or what's at stake or B) not making this massively stupid movie. runs an absolutely brazen two hours.

  • Naked Violence

    Naked Violence

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    one of Di Leo's worst, at least that i've seen. almost 90 solid minutes of nothing but the lead cop yelling at scruffy teenage boys, intercut with Nieves Navarro, as a bleeding-heart social worker, insisting that society has manufactured these juvenile monsters, who stand accused of gang-raping and murdering their teacher. if you aren't bored to tears by the end, you'll be sufficiently repulsed to learn that the aforementioned boys were "coerced" by a gay man, a transvestite, who was…

  • The Hangover Part III

    The Hangover Part III

    ½

    meets most of the technical qualifications of a movie.