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matt has written 143 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    ★½

    Great job turning this deeply idiosyncratic, sprawling story about collective trauma and history into Serious Beetlejuice.

  • Perfect Stranger
  • Du-beat-e-o

    Du-beat-e-o

    ★½

    Rightfully buried.

  • Pokémon Detective Pikachu

    Pokémon Detective Pikachu

    ★½

    Never thought I'd say it but Ryan Reynolds talking actually makes this slightly bearable.

  • Late Night

    Late Night

    ★½

    A stunningly tin-eared 90-minute platitude about a wildly successful professional who we're meant to believe doesn't understand her own identity as a performer, and the idea that buffering that identity with "diversity hires" (the film's own term, not mine) will reveal its truth. Also if I didn't know better I'd assume that nobody involved in this has ever worked in television or maybe even been on a set.

  • Long Shot

    Long Shot

    ★½

    For all the staggeringly lazy performative wokeness on display here it's worth noting that Rogen's character is still the dynamic one who ultimately gets the opportunity to accept or decline this relationship. I mean it's also incredibly dull and unfunny and nonsensical, but yeah mostly hypocritical.

  • Rules of Engagement

    Rules of Engagement

    ★½

    Jackson's character is absolutely correctly tried for what's tantamount to war crime while the film argues that since his country put a gun in his hand nobody should be held responsible for who he chooses to shoot. Classic pre-9/11 jingoism and xenophobia paired with quintessentially clueless Friedkin provocation for its own sake that actually sneers at any pretense of moral ambiguity, because it's for weaklings. The final salute that ends this movie is just gross.

  • Miss Bala

    Miss Bala

    ★½

    Embarrassingly defanged and pandering.

  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ★½

    Desperate and ugly. Can't even muster a fraction of the visual imagination of the otherwise-also-disappointing del Toro ones. I mean at least those don't look and sound completely like garbage.

  • Fallen

    Fallen

    ★½

  • The Highwaymen

    The Highwaymen

    ★½

    Here's a story nobody needed told. Two-plus lugubrious hours of a couple crusty old bastards wringing their hands a little bit about having to kill a couple of killers, which lo and behold they eventually do anyway. This isn't even stupidly pretentious enough to get curious about the idea that the state is sanctioning murder but, again, who the fuck cares? What even is this but a glorified made-for-TNT timesucker, a movie that only got made because the content mill has a quota? Paychecks for all! Extra points docked for casting Kim Dickens as "his wife."

  • Holmes & Watson

    Holmes & Watson

    ★½

    Barely a movie but I do enjoy a good Billy Zane joke.