matt has written 105 reviews for films rated .

  • Whore

    Whore

    A major embarrassment, especially from a provocateur like Russell, who defaults to some really boring stereotypes, corny fourth-wall stuff, and outright prudish moral handwringing. (Theresa, the other) Russell's doing all she can with some really dire material, but it's nowhere near enough. The most old man-ish movie to ever get an NC-17.

  • Cosmic Sin

    Cosmic Sin

    There's no way Bruno even watches the movies he turns up in anymore.

  • I Care a Lot

    I Care a Lot

    "Hell, if your whole enterprise isn't a pitch perfect example of the American dream, I don't know what is."

    This might be what passes for black comedy or satire these days, but it's inexcusably trite and toothless in almost every available facet, and you all know it.

  • Locked Down

    Locked Down

    This is a heist movie only in the sense that Doug Liman has essentially stolen both Warner's money to finance his jerkoff rich asshole COVID anxiety noodling and two hours of my time. Please Christ let me never see another Zoom call in a movie ever again, why does any director think this acceptable or interesting?

  • Shadow in the Cloud

    Shadow in the Cloud

    Just watch that Bugs Bunny short with the gremlin instead.

  • Happiest Season

    Happiest Season

    Depicts what should be an extinction-level event in this relationship between what appears to be an endlessly patient victim (who seemingly has no cause to trust anyone we meet in this film) and a gaslighting narcissist. If this was about a hetero relationship you'd be foaming at the mouth in fury about the level of abuse. I liked the weird sister.

  • The Scarlet Letter

    The Scarlet Letter

    There's a moment in this where Hester is in jail, massively pregnant, and we see Demi Moore with a big, obviously prosthetic belly, and a little animatronic baby kick makes a brief bump, and it's sort of emblematic of just how silly and overbaked this has become in a very 90's effort to make Hawthorne's really sturdy construction and (for his time) contemporary themes into this horny and exciting and quasi-feminist period epic, really LAST OF THE MOHICANS-ing it up, but stupid. Duvey taking scalps in the moonlight, though, I'd watch a whole movie about that shit.

  • Suicide Kings

    Suicide Kings

    I'm tempted to say Walken is the only good thing here, but even if true that may only be because the rest is so overwhelmingly terrible.

    Discussed on Episode 48 of The Suspense is Killing Us.

  • The Craft: Legacy

    The Craft: Legacy

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    They use their magic to make a boy woke. I'm glad he's not a piece of shit now but they might as well use it to finish their homework. It's dumb.

  • Rebecca

    Rebecca

    I'm fine with unfaithful adaptations or finding a jumping-off point to explore inspiration but this is not that. Instead it's a total bastardization of Du Maurier's masterpiece that not only drains this extremely thorny piece of proto-feminism, this tragic doomed romance, of any ambiguity but also turns it into junky pseudo-empowerment complete with a tacked-on happy ending. Absolute garbage. Ben Wheatley is, as usual, very bad.

  • Get the Hell Out

    Get the Hell Out

    Paper-thin, under-imagined, monotonous, and desperately unfunny.

  • Ava

    Ava

    There isn't a single novel moment or exciting twist or decent action beat in this entire misbegotten endeavor. Aggressively generic, cheap-looking and ugly, embarrassingly acted, and haphazardly edited. You've seen better terrible TV pilots. Stop Tate Taylor before he kills again.