Rob

I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.

Favorite films

  • Pulp Fiction
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Unbreakable
  • WarGames

Recent activity

All
  • Triangle

    ★★★½

  • Broadcast Signal Intrusion

    ★★★½

  • The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane

    ★★★

  • Escape from New York

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Triangle

    Triangle

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It is the twenty-first century, people; why are motherfuckers still buying boats? I mean, if you're hauling giant ten-ton cargo containers across the face of the Earth, I get that, but otherwise? We've got cars, trains, airplanes, rockets, go-karts, razor scooters, rollerblades and fucking blimps; why are morons buying boats? They are slow, they are expensive, and if they are within a a country mile of a movie camera, they are abattoirs from which there is no escape. If you…

  • Broadcast Signal Intrusion

    Broadcast Signal Intrusion

    ★★★½

    I may have mentioned this before, but when I was fourteen years old, on a high school band trip to Washington D.C. and staying in a hotel with free HBO, I witnessed the Captain Midnight broadcast signal intrusion, while I was watching The Falcon and The Snowman. And while that one doesn't have the panache of the Chicago Max Headroom intrusions, I still remember, when the movie faded to the test pattern and the message talking shit about HBO encrypting…

Popular reviews

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  • Perfect

    Perfect

    ★½

    We open with seizure-inducing flickering lights and a voice over direct from an incel's manifesto, and I fear that I might have made a terrible movie selection.

    Then we cut to a teenager, who has apparently murdered a girl in his bedroom, calling his mom for help, and it seems the voice over might well have been straight out of an incel's 4Chan post history, and I am questioning the life choices that have brought me here, in front of…

  • Contagion

    Contagion

    ★★★

    This week, my employer sent me on a business trip to Orlando, Florida: The Happiest Petri Dish on Earth. I am now home and feel fine, with a kind request from my employer to work from home for the next two weeks. Just in case I start to show symptoms, they want to make sure that their employees are safe. Employees other than, you know, me.

    So fuck it. Let's do Contagion. Why not? Maybe Dawn of The Dead next.…