Favorite films

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • WALL·E
  • Swiss Army Man
  • Cloud Atlas

Recent activity

  • School of Rock


  • My Little Pony: A New Generation


  • Midnight Mass


  • Lisa, Lisa


Pinned reviews

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad


    Listen, I'm a James Gunn stan account. I knew I was gonna enjoy this movie no matter what. I've seen Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 twenty times now. I know I'm biased. He's my directorial icon.

    The Suicide Squad may not have the strong heart of the Guardians films, but it's a constant roller coaster of action, gore, humor, gore, music, gore, and creativity. And that's not to say Suicide Squad doesn't have any heart whatsoever. It's there but…

  • Twilight



    When I was young lad I had no interest in Twilight while everyone was reading the books. I was like "Sparkly vampires? That's GIRLY and I'm a BOI!" There was absolutely no way I was gonna watch Twilight.

    ...So opening weekend I saw Twilight.

    My mom and my grandma forced me to come with them to see it. I honestly don't remember my initial opinion on the movie. All I know is very shortly afterward I bought the soundtrack at…

Recent reviews

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings


    I just watched a wild animal get blended from the inside by a dude with a bunch of fitbits

  • He's All That

    He's All That


    I knew what I was in for when I heard a piece of Katy Perry's "Electric" playing in the opening. For reference, "Electric" is a song that sounds like a spoof Katy Perry's "Firework", one that I'm guessing she made hastily to get a paycheck from the partnership with The Pokémon Company she did.

Popular reviews

  • The Golden Compass

    The Golden Compass


    I used to go to sunday school and the weekend this came out they gave us notices to show our parents saying "Do not take your kids to see this movie. In The Golden Compass book series they fight God." I gave the letter to my dad. He looked at it, looked at me, and then drove to the movie theater and we saw this.

    The God-fighting is a later book and Dad was disappointed.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2


    Originally this was two different reviews, but since then I decided it better to combine the two for people to easily look back on. First post took place the day of James Gunn's firing. Second post took place 6 days later.

    I thought we all knew James Gunn's sense of humor was offensive. Look at Slither and Super. Heck in the first Guardians one of the most famous jokes insinuated that Peter Quill basically painted the walls of…