Growing up, I had always thought of old war movies (along with old westerns) as dreary, pointless affairs that offered little in terms of entertainment value.
One Sunday afternoon in my teens, The Bridge on the River Kwai came on TV. As a rabid Star Wars fan, the appearance of Sir Alec Guinness (who up until that time I considered Obi-Wan, and only Obi-Wan,) was enough to convince me to start the movie. His performance is undeniably excellent, but the film…
I think the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles continue to resonate because they’re teenage mutant ninja turtles. This film makes sure that ‘Teenage Mutant’ makes up the bulk of the character and internal conflict, with ‘Ninja Turtles’ being the more external conceit. Both aspects get their time to shine between obvious emotional stakes and generally well-composed fight sequences.
It’s not as complex or cohesive as Spider-verse (which this is inevitably compared to due to it not looking like an illumination movie) but…
There’s a relentlessly funny stretch of this movie, starting around the time the comic relief character Emilio exclaims “Holy tomato!” and ending when Anthony Bourdain gets gunned-down by an army of Quan Chis.
In that fleeting moment, I gazed into the Stygian abyss of Uwe Boll’s mind… and I think I saw it staring back at me.