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  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    ★★½

    Cold and robotic, with some modestly fun visual bombast throughout. It never approaches the overwhelming heights of Interstellar, even with the aid of Hoyte van Hoytema.

  • The Peanut Butter Falcon

    The Peanut Butter Falcon

    ★★½

    The kind of family-oriented indie glued together by platitudes and copious amounts of cheese spray. Almost unbelievably conventional in every department.

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  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    The beginning of summer 2017 saw the release of Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman and its subsequent acclaim, coupled with stratospheric box office returns. The Gal Gadot starrer was delightful, bringing a truly stellar female protagonist into the landscape of comic book films.

    Nearly two years later, directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck have successfully ground out the one of the most infuriating superhero adventures in years in their quest to bring Carol Danvers, another female comic book icon, to the silver…

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ½

    A fucking nightmare akin to being curb stomped by Hulk Hogan. Every image and background reeks of desperation, systematically designed to trick us into believing we’re witnessing something that’s both groundbreaking and authentic to the beauty of nature’s textures. Emotions of any kind don’t appear, and the distinctions from the first film are wholly insignificant. This is nothing but tasteless mimicry for two torturous hours.

    Cower in disbelief as your fellow moviegoers holler and belly laugh at the same jokes…