Eliminators ★★★★

Charles Band sets his amazing cinematic magimix to 'FULL' with this heady concoction of The Terminator (time travel shenanigans to change the past to alter the future), Robocop (a 'mandroid' who is mostly machine who can't remember his past) and, er, Romancing the Stone (jungle-set adventure with plenty of flirting and bickering). Oh and its got a ninja in too. Just because.

For an Empire Pictures jam, the effects work on this is pretty good - the opening escape from a deformed mega-maniacal Roy Dotrice in full on jambon/fromage mode of our mandroid in a cool tank like contraption looks like it cost far more than the previous several hundred Empire flicks put together.

And the random mix just works for some ungodly reason - granted, Andrew Prine (Steven from V) and Denise Crosby (Tasha 'yummy' Yar) are no Douglas and Turner but throw in a knock-off Bubo/V.I.N.C.E.N.T baby robot thing as our intrepid adventurers journey down a very Spanish river that reeks of 'tax break' and it all flashes by in a very breezy and often entertaining mix.

The ninja comes crashing in to all this probably solely because the actor is Asian and it all turns into a fun and breezy morass of explosions and little sense. Dotty to the extreme, but for some reason it all just seems to work and it has so much more charm and heart than the modern day equivalents from the likes of Asylum and SyFy that it can't help but ludicrously entertain.

'Fun' from a time when 'fun' just meant 'utter fucking insanity'.

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