Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead

I’m fairly sure the opening credits were longer than the declaration of independence.

Hot people blasting zombies into pools of blood for two and a half hours shot on what appears to be the iPhone portrait mode.

Snyder turned his brain off and taped his finger to the trigger. The man has turned ’assemble a team’ into an auteuristic trademark.

To his credit, a heist movie set in a zombie apocalypse is a somewhat unique spin. But just because you release something on a streaming platform doesn’t make your 148-minute-long movie not feel like it draaaaaaags - no matter how fun your concept is.

Also, it would've been a lot more interesting if the apocalypse happened during the heist instead of because some girl was giving road head.

Neon lights, corny dialogue and patchy acting - the 80s are back in full force, just like last year.

Was it good? No. Did it try to be? Also no. Was everyone involved having fun? I fucking hope so.

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