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  • Unbreakable

    Unbreakable

    ★★★★

    If superheroes are real, I bet they are this messy and complicated. Also, I bet their video shots are this creative. And I bet they are married to Princess Buttercup.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★

    Luke was “udderly” awkward as was his sister, Mary Poppins. Golem was supposed to have a deep, creepy, evil vibe, but seemed more like a moronic imposter. Otherwise, it was fine.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★½

    I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    ★★½

    The puss 'n boots guy was kind of a downer and Katniss was annoyingly uninteresting. I enjoyed the clever robot. Otherwise, I guess now we know how they got the thing to explodinate the giant killer pew pew ball the CGI creepy man was living in. Also, the eyebrows on CGI princess hair buns still kinda weirds me out.