Hellboy ★★

Schlock's back on the menu boys, it's a little half-baked and soggy but the gory action and levels of excess appeal to my dumb brain.

Honestly, this movie overall is pretty terrible.David Harbour's makeup looks awful, like they made a crack addict into Hellboy. It doesn't help that the look fit Ron Perlman perfectly, but even without the del Toro movies it looks bad. The effects are not so great, but have a fun rubberiness to them that adds to the schlock value of this. The music is by far one of the worst aspects, a hodgepodge of butt rock and whatever the director pulled from his Spotify playlist. It completely ruins any kind of serious or weighty tone that a scene should have and is definitely trying to compensate for the rest of the movie.

Interesting that they used real stories from the comics, but everything is so rushed that they can't develop these stories like they need to. This is in fact incredibly faithful to details and stories from the comics, but what that got in detail accuracy they lost in tonal accuracy. The somber, sometimes silly but usually mysterious tone of the books that del Toro got very very well is replaced here with big, stupid action schlock.

Of course, when mentioning schlock I have to give my reasons why I didn't completely hate this movie. For one thing, some of the actions scenes have a level of chaos and misdirection that they swivel around to being entertaining. Little moments of gore nonsense brighten up this movie: Pig-Man using vocal cords he ripped out to open a box, Mila trying to summon all the goblins of the world but then they just run back down a tiny hill, and of course the ridiculous gory mayhem of the demons coming to Earth. The demon scene in particular is what the movie needed more of: mindless but visually creative schlock-gore (which may have even needed to be trimmed to get a broader release).Also, Ian McShane is great as always; he's nothing like the traditional Professor since he's just doing Ian McShane but it doesn't matter since he's so good. Had he been utilized more he might have somewhat salvaged this movie.

I wouldn't want the Hellboy brand to be besmirched any more than it has, but thankfully the box office for this movie has killed any idea of that. So even though I found some enjoyment from this I'd say still stay away; we already got the perfect Hellboy movies so there's no need to waste your time on stuff like this.