5 stars: 5 forks
4 stars: 4 forks
3 stars: 3 forks
2 stars: 2 forks
1 star: 1 fork
0 stars: hot salad
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
More-
Everything Everywhere All at Once 2022
Yeoh looking at that dumb movie playing on the screen of her laundromat with an expression borrowed out of time, one of about a dozen moments that hint at something genuinely affecting but are buried under 12 layers of Marvel bullshit - the incessant, cloying need to explain everything (no matter how underwhelming the explanation) and to grind every joke into dust. A movie for babies.
-
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 2012
The Rock, Michael Caine and Vanessa Hudgens star in a (sequel?!) based on the collected works of Jules Verne. 2012 was a weird year! Notable at least for how vaguely human Rock still looked/acted like 10 years ago (except for his nipples which already looked super weird). Rips off Honey I Shrunk The Kids but that’s a good movie to rip off imho. This movie made 335 million dollars and I’d never even known it existed if I didn’t catch it dubbed on German TV and watched it in a sleepy, Wine-addled haze. Hotel TV rules. Saw like 10 minutes of Maze Runner afterwards and that sucked!
Popular reviews
More-
The Vietnam War 2017
Stacks the deck uncomfortably in favor of an underlying sense of American decency and good intentions being corrupted, rather than these intentions being calculated from the get go. Frames US as an unwilling (The Tonkin "retaliation") aggressor and gives too little focus to the overwhelming human cost of North Vietnam. So as powerful as some of its retellings are, and as bluntly anti-war as that might convince you it is, it's far too preoccupied with restoring American dignity for me to ever really give a shit.
-
Cruel Intentions 1999
More like cruel, stupid, casually homophobic, constantly overacted, horribly written, awfully soundtracked, self-consciously sleazy and pathetically sentimental intentions.