cupofcoffinjoe

cupofcoffinjoe

Pro

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Favorite films

Recent activity

All

Pinned reviews

More
  • The Master Touch

    The Master Touch

    ★★★★

    RIP Kirk Douglas

    Kirk Douglas stars in this surprisingly entertaining Italian/German heist film, directed by Michele Lupo. Lupo made several Bud Spencer westerns, as well as other exploitation fare like Weekend Murders and the great Lee Van Cleef vehicle Escape from Death Row.

    Douglas gives it his all in his rare excursion into Eurotrash; he's not just cashing a check like some American Eurotrash regulars. Here he conspires with a trapeze artist named Marco (Giuliano Gemma, star of countless Italian…

  • Zombie 3

    Zombie 3

    ★★★★½

    I'm awed by how much better this movie is than I remembered it being. It's pretty awful, but it's awful in all the best ways possible. If I wasn't laughing, I was cheering.

    Make no mistake, I have the utmost respect for Lucio Fulci. But when it comes to pure Italian, brain seizing what-the-fuckness, no one beats Bruno Mattei. And in Zombie 3, I get both Fulci and Mattei! The gods of Italian cinema rain down glorious, goofy gifts upon…

Recent reviews

More
  • Ingagi

    Ingagi

    I had been warned that the long lost/censored/unavailable film Ingagi was extremely racist. But no one warned me about how damn boring the whole thing is.

    The first hour is mostly footage from an earlier film that was actually shot in Africa. It is no more racist than any other movie from 1930 (which is to say, it's racist as hell), it features some creepy misogyny, and several exotic, dead animals being shot and cut up. While undeniably unpleasant, this…

  • Rollergator

    Rollergator

    Somehow I was under the impression that this was about a serial killer alligator in a wheelchair. That is not what this is at all.

    It does have a purple alligator puppet rapping. Three times. But not a wheelchair-bound killer alligator in sight.

    It's also a legit contender for Worst Film Ever. Generally, I credit anyone who manages to finish a feature length film. Any film. Except this one. With A Talking Cat?!? as a first fearure, I destroyed more…

Popular reviews

More
  • The Room

    The Room

    ★★

    First off, you named your movie The Room? What the hell is wrong with you guys? Why not just go all out and call it The Birdemic Room of Troll 2?

    Well, nevermind that. How's the movie? Husband and wife move into new home. They find a hidden room. Hubby discovers that he can spawn an infinite amount of liquor in The Room! You'd think that would be enough--movie over. But no, he orders up a bunch of fine art,…

  • Time Trap

    Time Trap

    ★★★★

    This is an easy front-runner for the "Best Movie of the Year I'd Never Heard of." With zero name recognition and it's goofy 1990's title and poster art, I probably wouldn't have given this little movie a second thought. But it was the 80th most downloaded movie of the day, and it had a good review on the IMDB, so, I thought, why not give it a quick whirl?

    Despite the fact that this sort of thing never goes well...this…