• Ingagi

    Ingagi

    I had been warned that the long lost/censored/unavailable film Ingagi was extremely racist. But no one warned me about how damn boring the whole thing is.

    The first hour is mostly footage from an earlier film that was actually shot in Africa. It is no more racist than any other movie from 1930 (which is to say, it's racist as hell), it features some creepy misogyny, and several exotic, dead animals being shot and cut up. While undeniably unpleasant, this…

  • Rollergator

    Rollergator

    Somehow I was under the impression that this was about a serial killer alligator in a wheelchair. That is not what this is at all.

    It does have a purple alligator puppet rapping. Three times. But not a wheelchair-bound killer alligator in sight.

    It's also a legit contender for Worst Film Ever. Generally, I credit anyone who manages to finish a feature length film. Any film. Except this one. With A Talking Cat?!? as a first fearure, I destroyed more…

  • The Police Are Blundering in the Dark

    The Police Are Blundering in the Dark

    ★★★

    Objectively terrible yet oddly mesmerizing, The Police Are Blundering in the Dark is the sole directorial effort from Italian musician Helia Columbo. Seen in a certain light, it's a very funny movie. More on that later...

    This ultra low budget giallo was made in the banner year of 1973, when America would happily take any crap the Italian film industry cooked up. And yet, it never played outside of Italy. Perhaps it's cursed by the film's heretical supply of alcohol.…

  • Godzilla vs. Megalon

    Godzilla vs. Megalon

    ★★★½

    Unfortunately, the kaiju do not actually fight on top of the World Trade Towers.

  • Destroy All Monsters

    Destroy All Monsters

    ★★★★★

    We had a killer Godzilla triple bill this year for our annual Hi-Way Halloween Hell Night event, held at our favorite upstate NY drive-in. The temperature was in the mid-60's right through midnight on October 24th, making it an almost supernaturally beautiful night.

    Even more surprisingly, despite having seen this countless times, I was completely caught off guard by a different, and sometimes outlandishly funny, dub job. Thanks to some knowledgeable fans, I learned that Toho dubbed their own films…

  • Possessor

    Possessor

    ★★★★½

    Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes again. More of this, please. Brandon Cronenberg's second film is gory and smart and disturbing, just like the movies Papa Cronenberg made in the days of yore. It is also polished in a way early David Cronenberg rarely was, and it crackles with a perverse vitality all it's own. And did I mention gory? Very, very gory practical effects periodically punctuate the thick fog of psychological dread. This is easily the best horror film…

  • Butchers

    Butchers

    ★★★½

    It's Canadian hillbillies vs anyone in the neighborhood with a shitty car! Bodies are dismembered and fed to the mutant hillybilly. It features impressive and very gory practical effects. Despite obvious similarities, you will not find a single chainsaw, from Texas or otherwise, in the entire movie.

    Now I refer to paper towels as Shit Tickets. Awesome.

    World premier screened as part of the Telluride "Shelter in Place" Horrorfest.

  • Anonymous Animals

    Anonymous Animals

    ★½

    Part of the Telluride "Shelter in Place" Horrorshow

    The opening of Anonymous Animals is edited to be highly fragmental, and appeared to unnecessarily complicate the narrative. After several minutes, it becomes clear why. The film is one note, one idea, one thought experiment. It's thin to the point of transparency, even if you're only trying to fill up the 60 minute runtime. WARNING: I WILL NOW DISCUSS THE "ONE THING" THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT.

    Imagine that the animal kingdom treated…

  • The 100 Candles Game

    The 100 Candles Game

    ★★★★

    Seen as part of Telluride "Shelter in Place" Film Festival.

    This English language, Argentinian anthology was a pleasant surprise. Every sequence, no matter how satisfying, is well executed. Some stories are scary, others not so much. Some you'll be way ahead of, others may surprise you. Some seem too slight, but others feel perfectly formed.

    The only unpolished bit in the entire movie is the lousy acting in the wrap around segments. Perhaps some of it feels stilted because the…

  • The Doorman

    The Doorman

    ★★★★

    Elevator pitch:
    "Ya see, it's like Die Hard, but this time, in a building!"

    Despite being a well-worm cinematic retread, the film somehow manages to be an entertaining experience. It's fast paced, Ruby Rose kicks lots of guy ass, and things blow up real good. It's not exactly a future classic, but I had a great time with this. So maybe you will too.

  • 32 Malasana Street

    32 Malasana Street

    ★★½

    Spain's Albert Pintó works hard to impress in 32 Malasana Street . Unfortunately, he is burdened by a tired screenplay and a horror sensibility that shamelessly apes the now tired Blumhouse/James Wan formula.

    Despite only having a generic haunted house story as material (based on a true story!), the director shows confidence in the opening scenes, with long tracking shots and some acrobatic camera work. He executes the scares well, and keeps the pace brisk. Clearly, a lot of care…

  • Uninvited

    Uninvited

    ★★★★★

    The final feature at Dead til Dawn Drive-In is always a weird one, and this mind melting Greydon Clark (Without Warning) flick fits the bill perfectly. George Kennedy playing a crazed, homicidal maniac? Check. Young women in microscopic bikinis? Check. Cut off from the rest of the world on a yacht? Check. A mutant cat-within-a-cat? Check within a check. Highest recommendation based on entertainment value alone.