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  • Vampire's Kiss

    Vampire's Kiss

    ★★★★★

    Last time I reviewed a Nicolas Cage movie I mentioned that I seem to always love his performances yet never fully love his films. Today, that all changes. This is the best Cage performance I've ever seen, one of the most original to ever be captured on film, but this time the movie itself is just as solid.

    Stripped of all the mystical details, what is a vampire, really? A creature that sucks the lifeblood from its victims; sometimes turning…

  • Saving Christmas

    Saving Christmas

    ½

    A friend spent a lot of time making a shitpost copypasta review based on another's Parasite review for this, and I can't resist having my own rant, but I'm going to attach it in the comments because it's pretty amusing.

    ---

    Clearly I've been naughty this year, as I felt the need to put myself through this. Kirk Cameron has nothing at all on the passion of Estus "everyone gets a mansion in Heaven" Pirkle.

    I mean, the arguments here…

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  • Identity

    Identity

    ★★½

    What a silly thriller. Identity plays a lot like a slasher film with a chain of mysterious murders, just de-emphasizing the horror for the sake of a mystery. Perhaps I'm too well-versed in goofy thriller plotlines, but I predicted this one basically the moment the first murder happened. No spoilers, though the answer is quite dumb.

    "Quite dumb" more or less sums Identity up. The whole film definitely has an early 2000s feel in the worst way -- it's ugly,…

  • Diamonds of the Night

    Diamonds of the Night

    ★★★½

    Myspace Film Challenge Recommended by Soupy

    I always respect the hell out of what the Czech New Wave filmmakers were doing, but their movies are usually quite difficult as well. Diamonds of the Night is certainly no different -- it's about two Jewish boys trying to escape during the Holocaust, yet presented so unusually that even this takes a little work to puzzle out. Scenes are out of order, sometimes repeated, and clearly not always presenting objective reality. It's the…

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  • Joker

    Joker

    ½

    So, this is my 1000th logged film. I wanted to do something special for it, watch a film I’m really interested in like Tsai Ming-Liang’s The Wayward Cloud, one of the few remaining movies I haven’t seen by that director who means quite a lot to me. But it’s completely unavailable anywhere. The only source I can manage to find is an overpriced DVD on Amazon that reviews say is a bad quality DVD-R with the film burned to it.…

  • Color Out of Space

    Color Out of Space

    ★★★★

    Cthulhu's Kiss

    A lot of friends who I trust on this site seem to find this mediocre to bad, so I want to get biases out of the way first. Generally, I think I like and rate horror highly. More specifically, I enjoy the Lovecraft aesthetic and anything that uses it well. I'm probably being a little selective in my criticism, because there are things I could nitpick, but they matter so little to me compared to my overall experience,…