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  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    ★★★★

    Damn is this film pretty. Probably put it in my top five favorite pretty films.

    Casey sounds like a real butthole in real life, but I'll have to say "damn" again, as he was fantastic here. Heck, even James Carville was good.

    Even though it clocks in at 2:40 and the ending is pretty damn long, I never found myself bored. These cats can act. Seriously, though, this film is worth it for the cinematography alone.

    And if you don't watch? Why, you're nothing but a coward!

  • The Last Dance

    The Last Dance

    ★★★★½

    The greatest player of all time and the greatest B-ball team of all time!

    SO MANY DUNKS!!!!

    How great was the Bulls entrance in the '90s? Damn.

    Jordan is such a petty guy, but damn, is he still awesome. Also, the nWo is briefly in this film/series so you know it's gotta be good.

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  • The Girl on the Train

    The Girl on the Train

    Damn you Amazon Prime, damn you to hell!

    I'm familiar with the recent movie "The Girl on the Train", but FUCK, I didn't know it was still in theaters. Maybe I'm in my own little world here, so my girlfriend thought this was that movie on Amazon and so we watched it. She quickly fell asleep, I had to endure this shit train coming at me full speed. Choo choo!

    The script is too clever by half. Nobody talks like…

  • Possession

    Possession

    ½

    This film possessed me all right, to not want to watch another movie again!

    Fuck this. Just. Fuck it.

    I can handle a little bit of pretentiousness in cinema, after all, David Lynch is my all time favorite direct... but fuuuuuck, not this much.

    Possession is a shining example of a director who likes to stare at their own dick for 8 hours a day.

    While a woman going crazy and flailing about in the subway would have sufficed and…