• Jurassic World Dominion

    Jurassic World Dominion

    ½

    Fallen Kingdom is a very very dumb movie that feels nothing like a Jurassic Park story, but it’s filmed very stylistically and is at least memorable for that. Dominion makes me think Treverrow watched Fallen Kingdom and decided right then and there that he was going to make something far worse.

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★★

    the kid who flew the fighter jet through the train tunnel in GTA V probably coulda had this movie over and done with in 30 minutes flat

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    wish Wanda had taught me breaking and entering their mothers home was not the best route to win back the love of my children BEFORE July 17th 2009 in Matamoras, Pennsylvania

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ½

    in which universe do I keep custody

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Do you think Doctor Strange can erase the memory of myself from my ex wife asking for a friend please answer quickly the police are at my door

  • Thor: The Dark World

    Thor: The Dark World

    ★★★★★

    thankfully unlike eternals this movie was just fun and filled with laughs. Eternals was too serious and sad with a lot of drama and reminded me about the litigation surrounding the custody of my kids. Very good film that Thor 2.

  • Dune

    Dune

    ½

    37, Full time gamer, Married (previously) (well not totally we’re separated) (she took Half the kids), Father of 3 (the half I got to keep). This movie inspired me to pursue my dreams of starting a holy war without really knowing I was starting a holy war. Too bad there was too much talking and not enough war. And Jessica not telling Poe Dameron (I forgot his character name but I liked the Star War) The whole truth about Pauls…

  • Free Guy

    Free Guy

    ★★★★★

    The Last Chopper out of Saigon

  • Eternals

    Eternals

    ½

    So I’m driving to court this morning to finalize my divorce (unrelated) (wife talked to the male cashier at the grocery store and I could tell
    something more was going on) and I hear an ad for this movie on the radio (she took the dog when she moved out) and all I’ll say is this movie seemed like it was gonna be fun and entertaining with a good cast from the trailers but then too many people talked about it on Twitter so I’ve decided this actually sucks and you should feel bad for liking it and other movies like it you loser

  • Mean Girls

    Mean Girls

    ★★★★★

    so called free thinkers when it’s October 3rd

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ½

    shang chi and the legend of the divorce papers my wife served me while I was at Olive Garden

  • Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time

    Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time

    ★★★★★

    imagine my surprise when I randomly decided to watch an episode of an anime on Netflix just for kicks on like a random Tuesday in October and now I have witnessed the pinnacle of human achievement