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  • The Old Guard

    The Old Guard

    ★½

    If Charlize Theron, Matthias Schoenaerts and Chiwetel Ejiofor seem mildly out-of-sorts, it's presumably because they've unwittingly found themselves in the movie equivalent of a first-draft, with placeholder plotting, dialogue, editing, photography and (most of the) characters. Presumably someone went and released it to the public before they could raise their concerns with the producers.

  • Troop Zero

    Troop Zero

    ★★★

    This Bad News Bears/Little Miss Sunshine mash-up may be twee, resolutely derivative and (mostly) predictable, but it also has Mckenna Grace in full charm-offensive mode, which is worth plenty - if movies didn't already exist, someone would have to invent them to provide a mass delivery system for her toothy, crooked grin.

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  • The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    ★★½

    This isn’t a popular view, but I reckon that for about an hour and fifteen minutes ‘The Lost World’ is better than ‘Jurassic Park’. Yes, in spite of the unwieldy contrivances of the script and the way it contradicts the original film and the pudding-brained characters and the fact that our supposed heroes cause all the frickin’ problems on the island, I was having a pretty good time with it. The filmmaking is more muscular – more ‘meaty’ somehow –…

  • Happy Death Day

    Happy Death Day

    ★½

    If Happy Death Day had been a straight-to-Netflix release, this site would be full of reviews decrying its flat, televisual look, its attractive but bland CW-level cast, its often ineffective attempts at slapstick comedy, its complete inability to muster even a scintilla of tension or atmosphere, its unearned descent into treacly sentiment and its near-criminal level of creative/narrative theft – it’s one thing to steal Groundhog Day’s premise, it’s another to steal the film’s entire character arc as well.

    If…