The Strangers ★½

Imagine being so incompetent a horror character that you get wrecked by two unarmed girls in masks and a guy with the physical build of Bernie Sanders. Fuck outta here I’m walking right up to one of those motherfuckers and unmasking them Scooby-Doo style, the fuck they gon do. 

Imagine making a film this unoriginal, unimaginative, and repetitive, with the least likable characters and the dumbest ending ever. If I made this movie I’d feel bad. I’d release a public apology. How do you make this when there are movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre already in the world? What a waste.