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  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This movie goes full Metal Gear Solid by the end, and I love it so much. Tom Cruise has to fight Henry Cavill in helicopters and then fistfight him to death on a mountain.

    They also do a HALO jump through a thunderstorm. Also, there are nukes. This is a great action movie.

  • Skyscraper

    Skyscraper

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It had:

    - Hero with a tragic backstory
    - Cops looking at B&W surveillance photos of shady dudes in jackets getting out of cars
    - A Nathan Drake "Use SIXAXIS to walk across the plank" perilous tightrope walk over fire
    - The Rock jumping off of one really tall thing onto another really tall thing
    - Initially antagonistic police chief who comes around in the end
    - A climactic action scene in a hall of mirrors
    - The Rock killing…

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  • Unsane

    Unsane

    ★★★★

    "Unsane" is a really dumb title for a movie, but Steven Soderbergh filmed it on his iPhone and held it horizontally the entire time, so he did a good job.

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    I felt like I was watching a long cutscene from a mid-tier PS2 game.

    It has all of the things I dislike about the other Marvel movies (dumb humor, dialogue, plot, etc.) and very little of the stuff I actually like about Spider-Man (swinging around NYC, jumping off skyscrapers, basically the stuff that made that Spider-Man 2 game so good). 

    I like the idea of heroes that go around and stop crime, but even the way he does that is…